


Men called horse

by NYWCgirl



Category: White Collar
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe, Consent Issues, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping, M/M, Non-Consensual Bondage, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Non-Consensual Tattooing, Pony Play, Sexual Slavery, adopting an abused pet, humans as pets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-19
Updated: 2017-06-04
Packaged: 2018-10-20 21:42:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 13
Words: 26,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10671363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NYWCgirl/pseuds/NYWCgirl
Summary: Two ponies are saved by the owner of Vesta stables, but nobody seems to know anything about their history. Can they be saved?





	1. Rescued

 

 

“John, can you come into my office, please.”

John turns around and waves to show he will join Ann in her office.

“Rick, you should put her through her moves again. I don´t like how she holds her right leg. “ John watches the filly for another minute before walking to the office.

“What´s up Ann?”

“PEETA called me if we could take an abuse case.”

By the look on Ann´s face, it must be bad. But she always has a soft spot for the cases nobody wants to take in.

“How bad?”

“They didn´t give me details, but I guess pretty bad. The previous owner was arrested and charged with some serious charges. I was thinking maybe you could take care of him?”

John looks up in surprise. “Him? Ann, you know I don´t do geldings.”

“It´s a stallion, John. Just have a look at him. If you are not interested, I will contact PEETA.

“When will he arrive?”

“Frank is picking him up as we speak. They should be back in a couple of hours.”

“OK, I will have a look, but I am not promising anything.”

“Understood.”

“John is working in the tack room when he hears the truck with the trailer driving up the driveway. He walks out to the trailer. Frank opens the back and John can see by the way he clenches his jaw it must be bad. Both men wait and Peter expects the stallion to come out, but nothings happens.

“Shall I get them?” Frank asks.

“Them? Ann told me PEETA asked to take care of one stallion.”

“Yeah, well, when I arrived there were two stallions and we couldn´t get them separated, so I told them I would take them both.”

“You couldn´t separate them? What is their history?”

“Nobody knew, the owner was already arrested and refuses to talk.”

John carefully enters the trailer. He lets his eyes adjust to the dimly lit interior. Way in the back are the two stallions. The largest takes a protective stance in front of the other, as far as his leash allows him.

John´s heart breaks when he studies the other stallion. The horse has been severely abused and neglected. Well they both are, there are filthy, hair greasy and knotted. But the smaller horse his stance is off. He can hear John and nervously breezes. The other stallion immediately tries to move in between them, but Frank tied him to the back of the trailer and since they are both wearing blinders, they can´t see John.

“Hey boys. You are going to be OK. We are going to take care of you.” He shushes the nervous animals. He should have asked Ann or Frank for their names, but he doesn´t want to spook them by calling out, so he leaves it for now.

The lager stallion is wearing a brass bit gag that looks uncomfortable and makes him drool. John can see his skin is already agitated by the moist. His lips are chapped.

The smaller pony wears a bulky posture collar and a Pelham bit with bit burrs. Whoever handled this stallion was just pain cruel. To complete the stallions bridle, a chambon prevents him from lifting his head. The corners of his mouth are infected. They must have kept these horses in harness constantly by the looks of it.

John is surprised to see the smaller stallion stepping nervously on his hooves trying to see who is approaching, while the other takes a more aggressive stance and John can see that he reading himself to kick. John backs off out of the trailer and tells Frank he needs a hand.

They both enter the trailer and John and Frank start to comfort them, but it is clear that the threat comes from the bigger stallion, so they both focus on him.

“It´s OK boy, you guys are safe here. Let us get you out and take care of you, OK?”

Frank has come close enough to untie the reins of the larger horse. The smaller one is trembling and is making a heartbreaking distressed sound.

“Shh… I´ve got you, I will keep you both safe. Good boy.”

Frank gently tugs the stallion’s head towards him in an attempt to guide him out of the trailer. He is surprised to see the anger in the stallions eyes and before he can react, the stallion kicks him fiercely and pulls free. But both men are surprised to see that the stallions doesn´t try to escape but moves closer to the other stallion. The physical contact seems to take a bit of anxiety out of the other horse.

John bites through the pain and gets up again. The stallion immediately raises his head and moves in front of the other.

“It´s OK boy, we are not going to separate you, we want to take you indoors to a nice warm stable and take care of you. Both of you.”

He can see that this isn´t going to work. They back away and he asks Frank to get a tranquilizer gun.

A couple of minutes later, Frank comes back and before the stallion can move away, he is hit in the thigh. They wait until he starts the waver on his hooves and then quickly move in to guide him down to the floor without him hurting himself.

The other stallion is now trembling and pitching a high whine. They first carry the stallion out of the trailer into the stable where they place him on the vet table. Ann is already waiting for them, alerted by Frank. She starts to undo the bit.

They walk back and John slowly walks into the trailer talking to the horse, explaining what he is doing. He unties the horse and gently pulls him towards the back of the trailer. It is now that he sees how badly the stallion limps.

Frank is nowhere to be seen, he is probably gone inside to assist Ann. The stallion tries to kick, but he is so weak, John can easily sidestep him. He gently tugs the horse with him, constantly talking to him, reassuring him.

Just before they enter the stable the horse goes in overdrive and John knows a panic attack when he sees one. The horse tries to break free.

“It´s OK boy, settle down, we are going to see your buddy, OK? “

He can see the horse listening and then trying to get his breathing under control. They walk up to the table where the other horse lies on the table. The whine is there again. He tries to get closer to the other horse.

“It´s OK, he is just sedated. He will be fine, we are going to take care of him. But I also want to take care of you. You are hurt.”

The horse swings its head, but doesn´t want to leave the other horse. John signals Ann, who gets the request. She approaches the horse from behind and before he can do anything, she injects the fast working sedative in his left buttock.

While John waits for the sedative to work, he is surprised to see the betrayal in this horse´s eyes. The fight leaves the horse and he starts wobbling on his hooves, a few unsteady steps and one of the stable hands and John can lift him into the stable. Ann looks unhappy when she sees the state the horse is in.

“I had no idea it would be this bad, John. Let´s see what we are dealing with. She throws a box of examination gloves towards the three men. The stable hand and Ann start working on the larger horse. Frank starts untying the hooved boots on their pony while John unfastens the bridle. His breath hitches a moment when he gently pulls the bit out of the stallion´s mouth. He has chipped teeth, damaged by the heavy copper Pelham bit. The edges of his mouth have open sores and must hurt. John fetches some antiseptic and starts cleaning the wounds. The drug Ann used hasn´t knocked the stallion out completely and Johns can see the bright blue eyes lazily trying to focus on him.

“Shh… relax, we are going to take care of you and your buddy.”

Ann comes back carrying a bucket of warm water, sponges, towels.

“PEETA will be over soon to take pictures as evidence against the previous owner.”

“We can´t leave them like this.”

“No, we can clean them up. They took pictures in the stable they were kept them to document the general state they were in.

Frank puts down the clippers, he was just about to trim the man´s nails, they are way too long. Now that the boots are off, they can see the discoloration of his right ankle. It is swollen and warm, definitely sprained. It explains the limp.

“We need an x-ray.”

“We will do that later. I will call Peggy if she can bring a portable X-ray.”

“That would be great.”

The representative of PEETA accompanied by one of the local deputies enters the stable. He explains what pictures he needs and Ann gives permission.

The stallion is getting more lucid and more agitated by all the people hoovering over him. John quickly pulls a blinding hood over his head. The man struggles weakly. But the two men are professional and they quickly take the necessary evidence pictures;

The stallion is getting more and more agitated and Ann quickly sedates him a bit more. Ann tries to comb out all the knots out of his hair while the stable hands takes the boots and armbinders to the tack room for a good cleaning and polish.

John is cleaning up the infected brand they found on the left buttocks of the ponies. The lager stallion´s is healing well, but the smaller horse´s is infected. Probably due to his weaker state. The brand is a pawn.

“Hi everybody.”

“Oh hi honey, did you bring the portable x-ray?”

“Yes, it is still in the truck.”

“Hi Peggy.” The stable hand enters with the clean gear.

"Hi, who are they?"

“We don´t know, can you check if they are chipped?”

“Sure.” Peggy takes the scanner out of her bag and runs it over the lager horse.

“No, nothing.”

She then scans the other one. “They are not chipped.”

“Thanks Peggy, it would help to have a name.”

“OK, boy, let´s get you checked out.” Peggy pulls up his upper lip. There it is, the tattoo “G79138”. She does the same with Peter. “A87139. Philip, can you check for their names in the register?”

Peggy opens her bag and taking out some ointment. She checks the brand, decides it is thoroughly cleaned and tapes some gaze over the ointment. She tells Frank to clip his nails whiles she checks the sores on the horse´s mouth. John doesn´t like her frown.

“His teeth are in bad shape, but there is nothing I can do right now.”

Peggy puts on her x-ray apron and asks the others to leave the stable for a moment.

She explains what she is doing, just in case the stallion is able to hear her.

“OK guys, you can come back in.”

John and Frank enter again.

“I´m going to develop the x-rays. For now I will wrap the ankle. By the looks of it, they haven´t been out of harness, so I would re-strap him before they walk up again. Both men nod. They have to move, because the bigger stallion is showing signs of waking up. Frank carefully slips the boots back on and John carefully places a hackamore over his face. They do the same with the other horse, paying extra attention to his injured leg. The hackamore will make sure his mouth injuries are able to heal without additional pressure.

Next are the armbinders since John decides against a harness.

“Frank, can you give me a hand?”

Philip enters the stable again. “I have two names, G79138 is Neal and the other is Peter. It is however strange that there are no last names in the system.”


	2. Training

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John has to gain Neal and Peter´s trust, before they can move forward.

Once they are done everything they could for the moment, they carry Neal to a stable that has fresh hay, soft blankets and fresh water. John makes sure Neal lays down comfortable before he backs out of the stable. Peter is already waking up and Johns clips reins on the hackamore and gently guides Peter on his legs. He is wobbly and together with Frank he brings Peter to the stable Neal is in. Once Peter sees Neal is sleeping on a blanket he kneels next to it, studying Neal.

“He is alright Peter.”

Peter´s head whips up but the sedative makes him unstable.

“Why don´t you lay down next to Neal and rest. We are going to take care of you. You’re safe.” He guides Peter down gently until they are lying next to each other. Peter slowly gives in and shuts his eyes.

John stays watching them both and it doesn´t take long before Neal is coming around. He is immediately in full flight mode and tries to get up. The sudden movements make Neal dizzy and he starts gagging, but there is nothing in his stomach so nothing comes up. He tries to get up, but falls down again, waking Peter up. Peter gets up and stands protectively between him and Neal.

“I´m staying here, I am not going to hurt you.”

It takes Neal tree tries to get up and then finally he is wavering on his feet. He clearly feels different, being clean, his hair combed, not bit in his mouth, he studies his surroundings and Peter.

“Hey Neal, you are doing good. The dizzy feeling will pass.” He holds out his hand with some pieces of dry toast. He hears Neal´s stomach growl but he doesn´t come closer.

“I won´t hurt you, I am sorry for the drugging, but we needed to take care of you.”

He can see that both ponies are listening and trying to figure out where they are.

“You are at Vesta Stables You were rescued from you former owner. My name is John, John Bouving, I am the head trainer here at Vesta Stables.”

Neal slowly limps to a corner of the stable and Peter follows him, staying protectively close. Their body language is clear, they don´t thrust John.

John leaves them, leaving the pieces of toast and walks back to Ann´s office.

“Sit down John.” Ann gestures to a chair and places a cup of coffee in front of him.

“That bad, hmm.”

“I guess, I can´t find anything on them. PEETA is trying to get a background and they will inform us when they find something. But they are not in the system, which reeks of criminal involvement.”

“People don´t just vanish, they must have come in the system one way or another.”

“I know. PEETA isn´t convinced Neal is salvageable. He is badly injured and will need lots of medical attention. And we don´t even know what his mental state is, but it is clear that he severely traumatized.”

“Ann, we don´t know anything about these guys, we need to give them a fighting chance. Neal is salvageable.” John says fiercely.

“OK, I thrust your experience. But they will need to earn their keep. Maybe we can use them as studs. They sure have the looks. Nurse them back to health and we will see.”

 

* *  *

 

John is awake before the alarm clock. Peggy is still asleep after having to wake for an emergency last night. He quietly picks up his clothes and showers. A cup of coffee and a bowl of cheerios and he is ready for a day as head trainer at Vesta stables.

When he arrives he can hear ruckus coming for Neal and Peter´s stable. One of them is kicking the door and he can hear nervous stomping.

“Good morning boys, ready for some breakfast.”

Peter and Neal both stop in their tracks and watch John suspiciously. When John opens the stable door, Neal nervously backs up until he is pressed against the wall and Peter stands between them.

It is more than obvious that Peter feels he has to defend Neal. Neal must have gotten the brunt of the abuse and is clearly more stressed. Distress pours of Neal when he enters the stable. He opens his hand, in it are pieces of toast and apple for Peter, he also brought bananas for Neal, because he is not sure how much his teeth hurt and he doesn´t want to start him on grains and power bars.

Outside he has some protein shakes, so if push really comes to shove, he will force feed them. They can´t effort any more weight loss.

He can hear the stallions stomach growl but they are not coming closer. Peter suddenly approaches abruptly, but John stands his ground. Peter is taller than him, especially on the hooved boots, but he is not new at this, so he isn´t intimidated.

“Come on boys, I don´t want to force feed you, but you need food. You are skin and bones and I want to start slowly before we have you back on a regular diet. The food is not drugged, here.” John pops one of the pieces of toast in his mouth and chews it. After that he eats a piece of the apple.”

Peter eyes him suspiciously and eventually approaches him. He takes a piece of toast of John’s hand and eats it. He waits, like he is waiting to see if something is wrong with the toast. When he decides it is OK, he takes another piece but doesn´t chew it, he brings it to Neal who takes it from his lips and slowly eats the piece, it is evident that he is in pain.

“Neal, I have some pieces of banana for you. It will be easier on your teeth.” John holds out the still unpeeled banana.

Neal doesn`t come any closer and John knows that he will do more harm than good if he pushes too hard.

“Peter, come here boy, feed Neal.”

He holds his hand out with a piece of banana. Peter takes it and brings them to Neal. John leaves the rest of the banana, toast and blueberries on a wooden shelf, he is sure that Peter will feed Neal.

John decides it is better than nothing and puts fresh water in the stable before leaving to tend to his other duties.

 

* *  *

 

Sometime later, he comes back, both horses need to build up their strength. He is planning on taking Peter to the hot walker and Neal to the swimming pool, that way, he doesn´t need to put weight on his injured leg.

“Hey boys, let´s go, we are going outside, the weather is good, the sun is shining, so I want you guys to get some exercise, fresh air, getting your strength back up.”

John approaches Peter and clips the reins on the hackamore he is wearing. Once that is done, he does the same with Neal, who at first tries to shy away from it, but realizes there is nowhere to go and Peter is still with him.

John slowly walks out of the stable with the two stallions on each side of him. Peter is on his right, because he knows he is much stronger than Neal. So he will first put Peter to work. Neal´s limp is still pretty bad, even taped in. Peggy told him his leg has been broken and left to heal on itself. The bones are not aligned properly and that is why Neal has such a bad limp. On top of that old injury, he must have sprained his ankle recently.

He had asked his wife if Neal is in pain and she confirmed it. She told John she wants to operate on his leg as soon as he is a bit more fit.

John ties Neal´s reins to a ring and then leads Peter inside the walker. He explains Peter what is expected while he closes the door of the part Peter is standing in. There is one more horse in the walker so Peter won´t be alone and then he starts the machine on a walking rhythm, nothing to strenuous.

He then unties Neal and pulls him towards the swimming pool. Well maybe swimming pool is a bit too ambitious, it is more like a concrete trench filled with water. There is a treadmill option, he will start Neal slowly. He calls Frank to assist him because he is not sure how Neal will react to the water.

And as expected, Neal doesn´t handle being separated from Peter well, but once he sees that he is being lead to water, he starts straining against the reins. John tries to explain to Neal what he expects and that he wants Neal to heal without putting too much strain on his injured leg. Neal´s eyes are wide and he starts to fight in earnest when they come closer to the pool. His high pitches whines reach Peter who starts to kick the walker he is in. When John turns to see what is going on, he can see Peter tries to jump against the door to get out. Peter is going to hurt himself if he keeps this up. He asks Frank to take Neal and he walks towards Peter, telling him that he will take him to Neal when he calms down. He stops the walker and when Peter stands completely still, he unties him and leads him out.

They walk back to Neal and he explains to Peter that they need to build Neal´s strength so he can have a surgery to re-align his leg, so he isn´t in constant pain.

“Peter, I need you to swim through the trench so Neal will follow you, OK. This is for his benefit.”

Peter studies John and breezes. He bumps Neal in the head and then walks towards the pool. He slowly enters it and Neal studies him. When he sees that Peter swims without drowning, he lets himself being cajoled to follow Peter. The only difference is that he is not allowed to leave immediately. Peter is lead back to the walker. Suddenly Neal feels the bottom starting to move and he panics.

“Just walk, Neal, it is a treadmill, it goes very slowly, just step on it. The water will take lessen the pressure on your leg.”

But Neal is beyond reasoning and panics, he starts to fight the reins that keep him in place and by doing so, he missteps and goes under. John immediately jumps in the water to keep his head above the water, all the time talking, explaining what is happening. Once he can get Neal to relax a bit more he explains that the water isn´t that deep, his head and shoulders are above water if he stands and walks. But he also decides that this is enough for the introduction. He waits until Neal is completely calm again, let him walk for two minutes before leading him out of the pool area and towards Peter, who is again straining to see Neal.

“You are going to be OK, Neal, we will take care of the both of you.”


	3. It first needs to get worse before it gets better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, because I tried to make some art to illustrate the story. I am not familiar with picture editing programmes but I did my best... If someone wants to make some art for this story, you are more than welcome.

John and Peggy are having breakfast when Peggy looks up from her tablet.

“John, I called Ann and I think we should go ahead with Neal´s surgery.”

“You think he is ready?”

“Well, as ready as he will be, he isn´t so weak anymore and I don´t want him in constant pain, so I think we should do this as soon as possible. He will need more surgeries, not only for his leg. We also need to fix his teeth and I also want to see if we can re-vocalize them.”

“OK, just let me know when you plan to do the surgery.”

“Ideally, I would like to do it tomorrow. I will ask Ann if the vet table is free and if it is, preferably in the morning because I want him sober for the anesthesia and that way it is not so hard on him.”

“OK, he will be ready.”

John drives to the stables and goes through the days routine. He tells Neal and Peter about Neal´s pending surgery. Neal is getting anxious again and presses himself to the back of the stable. John can see that Neal is having a flash back. He waits for Neal to work through it but wonders what happened to Neal.

 

_When Neal is dragged back to the stables after yet another failed escape attempt, the stable master is so furious, he puts a twitch around Neal´s upper lip and drags him into the yard. He doesn´t say anything, he just picks up one of the iron rods that is used to restrain the horses in the squeeze chute. The moment Neal sees what is about to happen, he starts struggling almost ripping of his lip, but before he can get free, a devastation blow to his leg cripples him and he howls in pain, collapsing to the ground. The twitch is released and he is left in the yard._

“Neal, we are not going to hurt you, we are going to fix your leg so you don´t have any more pain.”

Neal snaps out of his daydreaming and looks up at John, who can see that the stallions still don´t trust him one hundred percent, but he also knows that if he can convince Peter, Neal will follow. He explains that Neal´s leg will be aligned, so he will no longer be in constant pain. He also explains that there will be a cast and Neal will get pain medication to take care of any discomfort.

After lunch, he takes them to pasture and let both ponies loose, Neal limps towards the shade and lies down, Peter stands guard close by.

 

_Peter is dragged into the yard and starts to fight the moment he sees Neal lying on the ground. He is lying in his own filth and he is not one hundred percent conscious. It only takes Peter one look at Neal´s leg to see that they broke the bone. Neal won´t be able to get up by himself with the restraints._

_“Neal, we will get out of this place. Be strong.” Peter shouts, hoping Neal hears him. The handler to his left curses and drags Peter with him, using the whip. Peter refuses to show that it hurts, only glaring at the man, who seems to enjoy tormenting him._

_“You need to take care of his leg or he will be a crippled show horse.”_

_“Don´t worry about that, the boss doesn´t care anymore, he has other plans.”_

Peter comes back out of his thoughts when Neal bumps him in the chest. He makes a shooting sound and Neal settles against him.

They stay all day in the pasture, dozing and by dinner time, John takes them back, explaining that Neal is allowed some light food because he has to be sober tomorrow morning. John feeds them protein shakes. And a small piece of his donut as dessert.

 

* *  *

 The next morning, Peggy and John are early at Vesta Stables, Ann is already present to see that everything goes as planned. While Ann and Peggy prepare the room, John goes to Neal and explains that he will be getting a sedative to keep him calm before the operation. He pulls away from John when John wants to open his mouth but this is not the first pill John has ever administered so he quickly puts his thumb in the corner of Neal´s mouth. He knows there are no teeth in the back as they have been pulled by the previous owner to accommodate the bit. So Neal can´t bite and it is easy to push open his mouth, within a couple of seconds the pills is gone. Neal looks betrayed but John explains it is better to go in the surgery relaxed. When he lets go of his halter, Neal seeks Peter´s companionship and John let´s him. He leaves the stable to see if they are ready for Neal.

When it is time, he walks back with Frank and when they arrive, Neal´s eyes are already half closed and he is leaning against Peter.

“Good boy, Neal, let´s go, it will be over soon. Peter, you stay here, we will bring Neal right back.”

Peter breezes his understanding and looks anxious when they slowly walk Neal to the vet room.

Once inside, Neal´s adrenaline kicks in again, but Peggy is quick and sedates him before he can really panic. The drug is quick working and the fight leaves Neal´s almost immediately; Frank and John lift Neal onto the table and restrain Neal, just in case.

Peggy and Ann have their scrubs on. Ann takes off the boots and Peggy quickly disinfects the leg. John already shaved it yesterday, so they can work more efficiently.

Two hours later, the bone is broken again, re-aligned and set. The fracture was worse than Peggy expected, so she placed a titanium plate against the bones, so they will be stronger. The leg is bandaged and Neal is already waking up. He is carefully lifted and carried to the stable Peter is already peering over the door and is happy to see Neal being brought back.

Once they have settled Neal in, they leave the stable and turn on the infrared light above Neal, so he will be warm and cozy when he fully wakes. They hobbled him so he can´t get up and put weight on the leg, not until they are able to put a cast around the leg. But first the swelling needs to go down. John stays close to calm Neal if necessary. Peter waits next to his companion.

A low moan is the first real sign of consciousness and Neal´s eyelids flutter, he is fighting to wake up. But with the return of consciousness, the dizziness and nausea of the sedation becomes more apparent.

“Hey boy, just keep still, you can´t get up anyway.” John enters the stable and gently pets Neal.

Two hours later, Neal is fully awake but still pale and shivering. John already placed a blanket over him and turned the heater up in the stable. He feeds him some water from a bottle. Once that stays down, he promises Neal some strawberry smoothie. John found out that Neal has a sweet tooth. It is funny to see that Peter likes more fattening foods, and Neal healthy food, but your donut is never safe for Neal.

 

* *  *

 

A couple of days later, John walks up to the stable to find Neal and Peter lying next to each other, they are awake. Once Peter catches John´s arrival, he gets up and John enters the stable.

“OK, Neal, we are going to do this very slowly. We don´t want to get you hurt, OK? We will carry you to the vet room to have an x-ray and hopefully a cast. If you get a cast, I will remove the hobble.”

John calls in three stable hands and together they get Neal safely and without much discomfort to the vet room where Peggy is already waiting. A quick examination and Peggy decides that she can cast the leg. While Neal waits for it to dry, John feeds him some pieces of fruit and as always he brought a threat for Neal, a small piece of lemon cake.

Once the case is set, Peggy and John help Neal up and more easily than expected, Neal is standing again.

“Good boy, how are you feeling?”

Neal nods with his head and follows Johns out of the stable, the limp is almost gone, of course he´s gait is off because of the cast, but he doesn´t have that strange limp anymore. John takes both horses to the table in the middle of the stables where there is an assortment of fruits and breakfast bites.

 

 


	4. Earning your keep

John is grooming a mare that needs to be bred. Frank will drive her to the stable where the stud resides. He hears his wife car stop on the driveway.

“Hi Peggy.”

“I just stopped by to give Neal a quick physical. Can you get them both, I know how anxious Neal gets.”

“Sure thing.”

John calls for a stable hand to finish the mare and get her ready for transport and then walks out while Peggy gets her bag.

When he enters the enclosure Peter walks towards him and he gives a snicker, waking Neal. He shakes himself before slowly walking towards Peter and John.

“Hi boys.” He clips lead reins to their halters and walks them to Peggy. The moment Neal catches sight of Peggy, tension creeps in his posture and he holds his head high. His mouth is tight and his eyes are wide and darting around.

“It´s OK Neal, Peggy is just giving you both a physical. Peter and I will be with you. It will be OK. She is not going to hurt you.”

John grips the reins and halts both ponies.

“Stand.”

Neal stays where he is but his left hoof keeps scraping the ground.

“Square up.”

John can see that Neal´s posture is good, but the tension is still there. Peter comes closer until they are side by side and gives Neal comfort. Neal leans into Peter.

 

_Neal is tied down and a spreader bar is fastened between his hooved boots. He can hear a man, the breakers call vet, taking items out of a cardboard box. Blinders are attached to his bridle and he can´t see a thing. Suddenly he feels hands scrub his groin and penis. It smells like a hospital._

_One hand holds his flaccid penis and something is inserted up his urethra. It is uncomfortable and Neal tries to move, but he is tied down well. It is some sort of tubing, suddenly there is some pulling, making him whine. Then there is a splashing sound and Neal realizes to his humiliation that they emptied his bladder._

_But then he feels liquid filling his bladder at a slow but steady pace. He gets that feeling of needing to piss. But soon it is passed that, it is now more than uncomfortable. He has a feeling that is belly is bloated. He fights a sob that is building, knowing it will result in a shock from the collar they put on him when he didn´t stop trying to talk to them._

_A hand slides over his belly_

_“I have plugged the catheter, but you need to be careful with these amounts, it can be dangerous.”_

_There is laughter around him. A bottle is pushed between his lips and with the tongue depressor on is bridle, he can´t do anything but swallow. They leave him standing in agony. Just as he thinks he can´t take it anymore the clamp is removed, he can feel the weight of the tubing hanging from his penis and he can´t stop his bladder from emptying. He has never felt so relieved or humiliated._

Neal is pulled out of his memory when Peggy lets her hands room over his body. She is firm but gentle.

“Good boy. I´m not going to hurt you, I just want to check you out.”

Her hands feel his chest, belly and go down towards his groin. Neal starts shifting his wait on his hooves. It is more than obvious he is getting anxious.

“Easy Neal, she is not going to hurt you.”

John realizes something must have happened that has him traumatized. He releases the reign and pulls Peter closer to Neal.

“Relax Neal, Peter is here. Look at Peggy´s hands, so you can see what she is doing.”

John can see the surprise in Neal´s face but he does what he is told and his breathing gets more relaxed.

Once Peggy gets to Neal´s legs, Neal is clearly more relaxed and leaning into Peter´s shoulder. Peggy straightens out and pets Neal.

“Good boy. He is doing well, his muscle tone is better and his mane looks nice and shiny. Good job, John.”

John smiles and pets both horses.

 “I just want a better look at the leg, but from what I can see from his gait, he is doing well. I guess the pain is OK?”

Neal nods his agreement.

Peggy removes one boot and releases the vet wrap and can see that all swelling is gone and the surgical side nicely healed. She massages the ankle and Neal relaxed in her hands.

“You like that, don´t you?” John says smiling. It is good to see Neal being able to relax more these days than when he just arrived. When Peggy is done, she rewraps the ankle and puts the boot back.

“Square up.”

Peter and Neal assume position and John takes them again to the walker. Once their halters are fastened, he turns on the machine and they start walking.

 

* *  *

 

“John, can I have a word with you?”

“Sure Ann.”

“I want Neal´s sperm checked out. He is a gorgeous Arabian and I think a lot of stables would like foals from him.

Peter nods. Rationally he knows Neal and Peter have to earn their keep. They are not entering them in competition, so studding it is, especially with both of their physique.

“What about we start with Peter? I am still trying to figure out what must have happened with Neal, because he is traumatized, we noticed during the physical checkups. Peter is more relaxed during them.”

“OK, start with Peter, but have them both checked out.”

“I will ask Peggy for a consult.”

“Thank you.”

John leaves the office and walks to the stable.

“Hey boys.”

“Peter and Neal approach him and bump their heads against him.

“Come.”

He clips the lead reins on and walks Neal and Peter to the examination room. He ties both horses to a ring on the wall.

“I need a semen sample, but I am not going to hurt you. Neal, I will start with Peter, so you can see I am not going to hurt you guys, OK?”

He can see Peter shift uncomfortable, a blush is creeping in his face.

“Stay.”

John takes out a vial, breaks it and holds it under Peter´s nose. He then throws away the empty vial and waits. After a couple of minutes he can see Peter shuffling around on the spot, he is clearly getting aroused and John takes the collection sleeve and milks Peter until he comes.

John can see that Peter has his eyes closed shut when he comes, but when he opens them, they show anger. He had expected embarrassment, but there is only anger, hatred even. He quickly seals the sample and puts it in an envelope for the courier.

“It´s over. You did good.”

He then turns to Neal and it is obvious that the whole affair stresses him out. John pets him while holding the vial under his nose. He tries to pull always, but John takes a hold of his halter and keeps his head still.

Neal is flushed when they are done and John quickly puts the envelope in the out mail and takes the boys to the swimming pool. Neal doesn´t want to go in, but John knows it is the best and quickest way to get rid of the hormones he used to get them aroused.

 

* *  *

 

A couple of days later he is called by Peggy.

“I´ve got the results.”

“And?”

“They are both cleared to stud, but I follow your advice to start with Peter.”

“Thanks.”

Peter walks over to Ann and tells her the news.

“OK, I will set Peter up with a mare.”

“When?”

“Probably this week.

“He´ll be ready.”

John takes them through their daily routine putting extra time in grooming. He also makes sure their tack is clean and oiled.

 

* *  *

 

That morning, Peter and Neal are already waiting for John. They must have picked up on his anxiety.

“Good morning Neal, Peter. Today is the big day, Peter.”

He takes Peter out of the stable and Neal wants to follow, but he prevents Neal from leaving the stable. Peter gets anxious and starts to pull on the lead reign and pitching high whines, while Neal is banging the door of the stable.

“Stay Peter.” John lets go of the lead and walks back to Neal.

“He will be alright Neal, he will be back soon. I don´t want you to stud just yet. But tell you what. I will groom Peter here, so you can see him.”

He then walks back to Peter and starts to clean him while he is in eyesight of Neal. He explains what is expected of him while he puts on his tack. Peter is nervous, John can see it in his stance, and angry. John can understand Peter´s feelings but he should have known this was a possibility with his physique. If he didn´t want to be bred, he should have had himself be gelded when he entered the scene.

John finishes Peter´s tack and steps back to examine Peter. He looks gorgeous. He always had more muscle tone than Neal, but with the training he received, he is tall and gorgeous.

“Ready?”

Peter shakes his head and takes a step back.

 

_They have him tacked up and restraint to a hitching post, so he can´t move. All he can do is just stand there on display. He feels totally humiliated. They have placed the hitching post in the middle of the stable. Several stable owners come to see what is on display. He has seen it before when another stallions and mares had been put on display. He glares at the spectators, but there is little he can do, he is restrained and muted and he guess it can be worse, they could have displayed him naked._

 

 

 

John attaches a stud chain to Peter´s bridle, just in case. It is more than obvious that this also evokes bad memories with Peter, but he seems less traumatized by the events. Just before they leave the stable, John holds another vial under Peter´s nose. They wait a minute until Peter starts to step around anxiously. He then leads Peter to the breeding bench where the mare is already strapped in. Her legs are strapped in, so she can´t kick Peter, they don´t want him injured. A stable hand holds her tail out of the way.

John can tell Peter can smell the mare, his nostrils are wide and his pupils dilate and he is getting anxious, stepping on his hooves. Who wouldn´t, John himself is getting aroused by the artificial hormones they gave the mare. She is trying to look at Peter, but she is restrained well, so she can´t. Peter is getting more fidgety and tries to pull away, so John has to hold on to the stud chain. He guides Peter to the mare but Peter doesn´t make any attempt to mount her.

“Come on Peter.” John pulls him closer but Peter starts to fight, trying to pull away. John can see the stud chain pulled taut under Peter´s jaw and it must really hurt Peter, but he doesn´t stop fighting.

“Don´t do this Peter. Just do your job and breed the mare.” He hisses.

Peter starts to struggle in earnest now. John has never seen him like this before. Well, only when he wanted to defend Neal. Wait, what if they?

John is pulled from his thoughts by the owner of the mare who demands to know what is going on.

“You promised to breed my mare. Why is the stud refusing?”

“I´m sorry sir, but I don´t think this is going to happen today.” John is trying to keep a struggling Peter from hurting anybody and himself. The way his is resisting at the moment can only lead in injuries.

‘You owe me the stud fee.”

“I am sure Vesta stables will refund your money or will compensate your troubles, sir. Again, my apologies.”

Ann steps in and takes care of the man, diverting his attention, while John guides Peter away from the breeding chute.

“What happened out there? You are a stallion, Peter, that means you breed mares. She was a pretty one. If you don´t want to stud, why did you enter the system as a stallion?”

Peter shakes his head.

John makes a mental note to check Peter and Neal´s past. He needs to know what happened to them.

He leads Peter to one of the pastures where Neal is already waiting for him. He takes of the bridle and Peter runs towards Neal. Both horses look at John, so he pretends to walk away but stops when he is out of their line of sight.

Neal puts his head against Peter´s chest and stays like that for a while, comforting Peter. And then something happens that John didn´t expect. Neal goes down on his knees and takes care of Peter´s erection with a blowjob.

It opens new perspectives. Maybe they were a couple once. He really needs to check out the history of these two.

 

 

 

 


	5. Building towards a future

“Ann, I need to talk to you.”

“Sure, you want to do this here or in my office?”

“Your office.”

“OK, let´s go.”

They walk into Ann´s office. It is a homey office filled to the brim with rosettes, trophies and other paraphilia. It breaths horses. He sits down and she hands him a cup of coffee.

“What do you want to talk about? It must be something serious, because you have this look.”

John straightens his face and realizes that he is frowning.

“I know you can´t keep two stallions that don´t bring in any cash and Neal´s vet bill is high, so I want to make a suggestion.”

Ann studies John, she knows what he wants and she already made the decision that he can have the two stallions. It is clear that Peter doesn´t want to stud and Neal is too traumatized. They would be better off with John and Peggy.

“You want to buy them form me?”

“I know I don´t have the amount two stallions would cost, but…”

“That´s OK John. We will come to an agreement, don´t worry about it. I have seen how both stallions respond to you and Peggy can take care of Neal´s health issues. Your stable has been empty for some time now.”

John studies Ann.

“You knew I was going to ask.”

“Yeah, you weren´t that subtle. You are smitten by them. I can still hear you saying that you don´t handle stallions.” Ann smiles.

John makes a face, before laughing as well.

“I need to talk to Peggy first.”

“Of course, let me know what you guys decide.”

“Thanks Ann.”

“You are a valuable employee, I trust you with those two.”

John leaves the office and walks to one of the yearlings he is training. By the end of the day, he has made up his mind. He is going to take full ownership of Neal and Peter. He knows Peggy will support his choice, but he has to be sure before he makes such a commitment.

He calls to make a reservation in their favorite bistro before calling his wife.

 

* *  *

 

“Boys?”

John walks up to the pasture where the two stallions are already approaching, Neal still walks behind Peter, but he isn´t as weary as he used to be, he used to stay back, but now he follows Peter.

“Hey boys, I told you that you can´t stay here at Vesta stables if you don´t stud. But how about you come living with me and Peggy?”

Neal checks out Peter, he is clearly looking for reassurance.

“Look, we don´t have stables like this, but we have a cozy stable adjacent to our kitchen and a small pasture behind our house. But you won´t need to stud, I can promise that.”

Peter looks at Neal and nods. After a moment, Neal also gives his consent.

“Good, I will get things ready at home and I want you guys to be aware that we will travel with the trailer.”

John can see the anxiety in Neal´s eyes.

 

_Neal is in pain. He tries to block it out, but his whole body throbs and aches, the worse are his mouth and ankle. The bit burs dig deeply in his cheeks and agitate the already open wounds on his mouth. Master enjoys seeing him in pain, but this time he really did a job on him. The chambon prevents him from lifting his head, and his neck muscles cramp painfully. He can hear Peter next to him, but he can´s see him, due to the blinders they attached to his bridle._

_Master wanted to punish him and handed him to the most cruel handler that worked in the stable. He was the one that had tightened the chambon is such a way, that Neal was almost incapable of moving his head. Hi regular bike chain bite had been changed out by a wire bit that was fastened tightly in his mouth. It had become rapidly painful , even without any rein pressure._

_He had Neal work through a parkour almost blinded and Neal had mistepped and twisted his ankle. When he tried to alleviate some of the pain by holding his foot of the ground, he had been dragged forward by the collar and forced to finish the parkour. By the time he was brought back to the stable he could have screamed, if he still had his voice._

_He is glad that he is back in the stable although his sweat itches and his ankle throbs painfully, but at least he can just stand still and take his weight of his ankle and nobody is pulling on the bit anymore. He can feel blood dripping from the corners of his mouth. He can also taste it and it makes him nauseous, the wire bit probably skinned his tongue._

_Peter has been tied away from him, so they can´t see each other, but he can hear Peter´s questioning and nervous snicker. He tries to make a reassuring sound, but can hear that he is failing._

_Suddenly there are loud noises and shouting. Peter gets all anxious and Neal can hear him shift nervously. There is an exclamation of pain and then he can feel Peter standing next to him. He must have pulled free. The noises itself aren´t unfamiliar, it is obvious a raid performed by law enforcement._

_It seems like an eternity before the stable doors open and Neal can hear the sound of disgust. They must make a pitiful picture. They haven´t been cleaned in a while now and Neal can feel and smell the dirt in his hair and tail._

_He can also hear the person calling PEETA to have them picked up. His heart sinks, they surely can see that they are humans that are being held against their will. They will free them right? Right? He wants to call out for help, explain what happened, but he realizes what the men are seeing, two abused stallions that need shelter._

_Sometime later a representative from PEETA comes in, taking pictures of them and calling different stables to check if they can be taken care of. Eventually he seems to have found a stable willing but Neal´s heart drops when he hears that only one of them will be taken._

_“What will happen to the other one?” a voice asks?_

_“I think the smaller one is not salvageable. He has serious health issues. It will probably be more human to euthanize him. Look at the condition he is in, he is skin over bones. They have been severely neglected, but he seems to have taken the brunt of the abuse.”_

_Neal´s heart rate picks up. He wants to shout. He doesn´t want to be euthanized. He steps closer to Peter who positions himself in front of Neal._

_They can hear a truck stopping and someone is approaching them._

_“Hi Luke, Ann told me to pick up a stallion?”_

_“Hi Frank, yeah, he is in there. But he careful, OK?”_

_Someone enters the stable and Neal can feel Peter is reading himself to defend them._

_“Hey boy, you are alright, we are taking you somewhere safe, OK? It´s over, we are going to take good care of you.”_

_The voice sounds soothing and honest, but Neal is nervous and afraid. What if they take Peter away? He won´t stand a chance if they take him away, he is in no condition to defend himself._

_Neal can hear struggling and it is obvious that Peter is resisting them. Suddenly Peter is back next to him and gives a reassuring sound. Neal tries not to lose contact with him._

_There is a second attempt but eventually, the voice speaks again._

_“Ok, boy, relax, I will take you both. Here, I will take the other stallion with me to the trailer and you follow, OK?”_

_“Luke, I am taking them both, is that OK?”_

_“Yeah, saves me a lot of trouble.”_

_Neal feels a man next to him who unties his reins and curses softly when he gets a good look at Neal. Neal starts trembling. This can´t be good._

_The man starts petting him._

_“This has nothing to do with you, boy, come, let´s get out of here._

_A hand guides Neal, so there is no pressure on his bit. He limps with the man, trying to avoid more pain and he feels Peter next to him._

_The trailer comes into view and Neal´s anxiety increases again. But the man called Frank gently pulls on the reins. Neal starts to struggle against the chambon, but that is fruitless and with his weakened condition, Neal is quickly tied in the trailer._

 

“It´s OK Neal, we will do this slowly. We are not in a rush and I want you to be comfortable, since Ann was gracious enough to let us use her facilities, so you can come with me to work in the future. But I want you to be comfortable in the trailer.”

 

* *  *

 

 

John starts the trailer training the next morning. He puts the trailer inside the pasture and lowers the ramp. Inside, he puts some small pieces of cake and some cheerios. He knows neither pony will touch the other one´s snack. He leaves the pasture and goes indoors to find himself some coffee.

When he comes back outside, he sits down on the fence. He can see Peter has entered the trailer and is trying to get Neal to come inside. When Neal doesn´t budge, Peter comes out with a piece of cake for Neal. Since Peter is obviously comfortable with the trailer, John decides to load Peter in and see if Neal will follow. It will be important to build positive associations in Neal´s mind, whenever the trailer appears.

He lets the two ponies do what they are doing for another half hour before entering the enclosure. He calls Peter, who immediately presents and guides him into the trailer, fastening his halter to the provided ring.

“Stay Peter, we are going to get Neal over his fear of the trailer.”

John leaves and calls Neal. He comes closer but stays out of arms reach.

“Come Neal.”

John holds out a piece of cake. Neal stretches his neck, but John doesn´t give it. They stand facing each other for long minutes, until Neal hesitantly lifts one foot and puts it on the ramp.

“Good boy.” John comes closer and feeds Neal his piece of cake.

Peter also gives Neal an approving sound. It is clear Neal is really trying to overcome his fears.

“You are doing good Neal. I`m going to untie Peter and let him out if you put the other foot also on the ramp. You don´t have to enter. I just want to feet on the ramp.”

Neal doesn´t hesitates and steps on the ramp with both feet, before stepping down again.

“Good job. I knew you could do it.”

He feeds Neal a piece of sweet apple before untying Peter and guiding him out of the trailer. He leaves the trailer open and walks back to the stables to work. He knows Peter will try to get Neal to step into the trailer.

 

* *  *

 

Neal is anything but smart, so it doesn´t take that much effort, before he trusts John to take him into the trailer. They try again and Neal lets himself be guided in the trailer, he knows there is always a fruit snack waiting for him in the trailer, so it isn´t that big a deal.

“Good, I will take you home tonight. I will call Peggy that you boys are coming with me. I´m going to put on travelling boots and a halter. They are going to protect you during transport.”

John shows the travelling boots to both stallions and they eye it warily.

“I guess you have never seen them. They are to protect you during transport. Here, let me put them on, so you can get used to the feeling.”

John puts them first on Peter and when Peter stays relaxed, he tells Neal he will get a pair as well. Once they are both fitted he leaves them on so they can get used to the feeling.

John walks out and start training a new mare that arrived at the stables.

When it is time to call it a day, he walks back to Neal and Peter.

“Ready boys?”

He walks into the stable and takes both stallions out.

“Stay.”

Both Neal and Peter stand still outside the stable. A stable hand removed the travelling boot some time ago, so John reattaches them. Next comes a nice warm fleece coat since it cools down in the evenings. John makes sure the coat is fastened correctly so it doesn´t shift during transport. When they are ready, John takes both their lead ropes and guides them to the trailer. Once Neal sees the trailer, he gets anxious. Neal knows this is not an exercise, they don´t know what is waiting for them at the end of the ride. John stops next to the trailer.

“I´m going to put Peter in first, we have done this several times Neal. It is going to be OK. Just one step at a time.”

He takes Peter inside and makes sure he is fastened correctly. Then he walks back to Neal who is still eyeing Peter. Ok, Neal, you know how this works, there is nothing to be afraid off. We are going to my house.”

John gives a gentle tug on the reign and Neal hesitantly follows him into the trailer. He is praised and rewarded and John can see the pride in Peter´s eyes. He bumps Neal in the shoulder. John uses a safety knot with Neal´s reign. He doesn´t want Neal to freak out during transport and hurt himself.

“Look Neal.” John points at a camera in the front of the trailer, “I can see you guys in the car, OK? So I will make sure you are safe.”

John makes sure both stallions are secured for the ride and then they are off.

 


	6. Mouth shy

The introduction to the new stable turned out to be a success. Neal and Peter like their new stable, it is quiet and cozy. Peggy and John re-painted it and with the fresh hay it is comfortable and light. They even have warmed waterbeds to sleep on, built in the floor. Peter thinks he once saw them in a cow stable.

They fall in a comfortable routine. The boys join John to Vesta stables whenever Peggy doesn´t have consultations at the home practice.

But John noticed that Neal starts getting mouth shy again. He still isn´t wearing a bit, the hackamore is more than enough restrain but something is not right. When Neal arrived at Vesta Stables, Peggy diagnosed him with Mandibular Periostitis.

But because Neal is still young and was in poor condition at the time, she had decided to give his jaw a rest and hope that it would heal on itself.

But when John notices that Neal is tossing his head, he suspects that Neal is in pain again. He calls Neal to the kitchen door. Neal walks over and John moves his own face close to Neal. He can smell Neal’s bad breath. He feeds Neal a piece of toast and John can see it hurts Neal to chew;

“You are in pain, aren´t you?”

Neal hesitates.

“I will do something about it, no worries, but you are in pain, aren´t you?”

Neal nods.

“When Peggy wakes, I will ask her to take a look. For now I want you to drink a protein shake. Neal smiles looking forward to the treat.

                                          

* *  *

“Peter!”

Peter walks up to John.

“Can you stay next to Neal? Peggy needs to check his teeth, because they are hurting him.”

Peter snickers and stays close to Neal. Peggy puts on examination gloves and explains that she will first examine him. She won´t do anything invasive. She puts in a mouth spreader so Neal won´t be able to accidentally bite her in a panicked reaction. He shuffles nervously on his hooves. His eyes are wide with fear. It is more than obvious that Neal has had bad experiences with dental work. John can only imagine that his previous owner didn´t have the horse´s wellbeing as a first priority.

“Neal, try to relax, we need to see what is hurting you.”

Neal is shivering and a flush enters his cheeks when he starts drooling. The mouth spreader makes it hard to swallow. John puts on a soft fleece coat so Neal with be more comfortable.”

Peggy continues by palpating the area and can feel the thickened raised area where the inflammation is underneath.

“Neal, you have what we call Mandibular Periostitis. It is cause by bit damage. I know it sounds scary but the treatment is normally rest, but in your case that didn´t help, so I suggest we perform a simple surgery.”

She removes the mouth spreader and pets Neal.

“I promise that you will be pain free once the surgical sites are healed. Until then, it will be tender and the wound flushing can be unpleasant, but I will make sure you are comfortable.

Neal whines and looks at Peter.

“I know sweetie, but it is for the best.”

John knows what Peggy is planning and he holds on to Neal´s halter. Before Neal can pull away, there is a prick in his buttock. The sedation is fast working and Neal wavers on his hooves. John catches him and puts him on the examination table.

“You want to sat Peter? Or shall I put you back in the stable?”

John can see the conflict in Peter.

“It´s OK, Peter, I know you want to stay, but I promise Neal is in good hands.”

He guides Peter back to the pasture where he starts to run along the fence. John walks back to see if Peggy needs assistance.

 

* *  *

 

Neal can´t work out where he is. His head is spinning and he is dizzy. Now that he thinks about it, his head aches all over, his mouth in particular.

He opens his eyes and sees Peter looking worried at him, but the stable moves around him, so he closes his eyes again.

He feels sick and he hopes he doesn´t need to vomit. He can feel Peter laying down next to him and he moves into his warmth and thinks he ‘d sleep a while longer.

“Neal… Neal!”

He snaps his eyes open. He wonders how long he slept and if he is in trouble; His heart rate picks up and he only calms down when he can hear Peter reassuring snicker.

“Don´t try to stand.”

John rearranges Neal on his side and adds a blanket.

“You need your medication.”

A baby bottle is pushed between his teeth and a sweet liquid trickles out. Neal slowly suckles it with his tongue until the sweetness is gone and the teat removes from his mouth. He feels fuzzy and warm and let´s himself be pulled under.

 

* *  *

 

_Neal tries to fight the restraints that prevent him from escaping his predicament. He doesn´t know how long he has been here, but whoever kidnapped Peter and him is crazy._

_Neal stills, he can hear people approaching. He can´t see them due to the leather blinder, but he can hear them. The posture collar they have on him prevents him from moving his head, but it is the shock collar underneath that spooks him. He has had several shocks and they were very unpleasant, to say the least._

_“What do you want?” He asks them._

_A piece of wood is pushed between his teeth and Neal tries to back away but he is restrained very well, these guys know what they are doing._

_“STOP8” is what he is trying to say, but it sounds garbled. Suddenly something metal is pushed in his mouth and his jaw is cranked open. Fear grips his heart and Neal can feel his heart rate accelerating. Whatever they are planning, it can´t be good._

_His struggling must have alerted Peter, because he can hear Peter shouting, but he sounds not in the vicinity._

_A gloved hand puts something metal in his mouth and he tries to pull away again. It only results in arms that take him into a head lock. There is a sharp pain in his mouth and the taste of blood on his tongue. It makes him gag. Blood and drool spill from his opened mouth. The pain hits him like a train and he howls like a wounded animal. It doesn´t sound human, not even to his own ears._

_“NEAL! NEAL!”_

_He can hear Peter fighting his restraints. There is laughter around him._

_“Don´t worry, you are next.” Someone calls out, presumably to Peter._

_The plier goes for another tooth, grabbing it and pulling hard. Neal can feel the pull in his skull. Two more times on the other side of his mouth and then the clamp is removed and he is released from the hold._

_Neal gags against the blood that flows from his raw gums._

_“There, that should accommodate the bit nicely. So, that one is next?”_

_“”Peter!” Neal wants to cry out, but it sounds distorted by the fact Neal does his best not to swallow the blood._

_Neal silences when the shock of the collar hits him. They must have turned it on again now that they are finished._

_Blood keeps pooling from his mouth along with drool, since he tries to avoid swallowing. He can hear Peter grunting and crying out as well and he starts weeping softly. He can´t make sense of it all, he tried to ask what they want from them and everything hurts, so bad._

_He doesn´t realized he sort of passed out, until an electric shock wakes him._

_“Get up, you useless piece of shit.”_

_It takes Neal a couple of tries to get to his feet. He still isn´t used to these hooved boots and without the use of his hands… He is pulled up by his collar._

_He can feel hands near his face again and he starts thrashing, the chock chain under his collar is pulled taut and cuts in his skin._

_“I´ll kill you.” He threatens._

_“Oh, will you now?” a voice taunts him, “let´s try a different approach, shall we?”_

_Suddenly several men grab him and pry his mouth open. They wear thick steel gloves, like butchers do. Neal tries to chomp down on the fingers in his mouth, but more hands keep his mouth open._

_Something metallic is pushed between his teeth and he wails when it comes into contact with the barely closed wounds in his gums. He realizes it is a bit before it is strapped behind his head and they let go._

_It hurts. Tears spill from his eyes. When someone jerks the reins attached to the bit, the pain is excruciating._

* *  *

 

“Neal?”

Neal wakes to his hair being stroked and someone saying his name.

“Shh. You have a drink with your meds, then you can go back to sleep.”

Something is rubbed on his lips and Neal opens his mouth for the soft drinking teat of a bottle.

“Drink slowly, we don´t want you to get sick.”

Neal shivers and not much later, he can feel the temperature of the warm water bed increase. He relaxes, the warmth and silence is calming and the sweetness of the drink is delicious. Neal let´s it sooth him, his eyelids growing heavy.

“Go to sleep Neal.”

 

* *  *

 

A couple of days later, Neal eats better, they are still feeding him soft foods that are easy to chew, but Neal is a happier horse already. The wound flushing isn´t pleasant, but Neal is smart and knows Peggy does it to make him better, not to torture him.

While Neal was under, Peggy immediately took care of his chipped teeth, filled cavities and cleaned his teeth thoroughly. She also cleaned Peter´s while she was at it, but he was happy to open his mouth once he understood what she was planning.

It is more than obvious that Neal feels much better and is no longer in pain. John can tell he is much more relaxed.

John and Peggy are now the owners of two gorgeous stallions. While Neal is still healing, John decides to pick up their training schedule once again.

While he watches Neal and Peter on the thread mills, it is clear that they are both used to running and that they must have used it to keep in shape.

John is determined to find out about more their previous lives.


	7. Working up to it

 

Neal has built a nice muscle tone in training. John is proud. The exercise in the walker and the swimming exercise paid off. John watches Neal walk around. His balance improved on his hooves and his gait shows good impulsion. But he is most proud of the nice high head carriage, Neal´s posture is confident and balanced when he is exercising, the complete opposite of when he arrived at the stables. John gestures to one of the stable hands to stop the walker and he unclips Neal before leading him to the side where he feeds him water from a bottle. Neal has become very good at drinking in tack. When he just arrived, he refused to drink, he would fight to get away from the bottle when he was in tack. John wondered if his reluctance to drink from the bottle comes from being fed drugged water.

“Square up.”

John studies Neal. He is not fidgeting and his weight nicely distributed on both feet. John lets him stay like this for thirty seconds, before leading him away for a couple of strides before asking him for a halt again. He smiles. Neal immediately halts in the correct standing position.

“Good boy. Stand.”

John gives the reins a slight backward tug and faces Neal, who doesn´t move.

“Good boy.”

“The ground tying is working well.”

John turns and recognizes Ann, walking towards him.

“Yes, he is very smart, a real quick learner. They both are.”

John leads Neal to the pool area and lets him work out for an additional half hour. Neal always like to swim after the walker.

When he is done, Neal is panting and John ties him to the hitching post so he can dry off Neal. He then picks up the soft curry comb and gently massages Neal´s body. He then changes to a brush, finishing with his tail and mane. John runs his hand from Neal´s crotch to his ankle, Neal is still not comfortable when touched in the more sensitive areas like his head, groin and ass. He will try to avoid the touch, but it is something he needs to get used to make his life easier during medical examinations. When he reaches Neal´s ankle, he squeezes. Neal understands the signal and slightly raises his foot. John quickly cleans the sole of the hooved bots and then the other. He finishes with a quick wipe down.

By the time John finishes, Neal is completely relaxed, eyes closed, almost asleep. He gets a gentle tug.

“Square up.”

Neal immediately does, so John takes him to pasture. Peter is already nervously pacing the fence. After all this time, Peter still doesn´t like it when Neal is out of his sight. But Peter needs different training than Neal, so they can´t always work out together.

John takes Neal inside and opens the box he is carrying. There is an assortment of fruits and vegetables and two protein shakes which John feeds them from the bottle. After lunch both ponies walk around in the enclosure before settling down and taking a nap.

 

* *  *

 

“You better sit down for this one. I did some digging, but I couldn´t find anything on Peter and Neal. They seemed to have suddenly appeared in the system about two and a half years ago, no background or anything.”

“Something must have happened. I don´t believe they were just an abuse case. Come on Ann, normally there is mention of a debt or a kink,, whatever, but there is always mention of a reason why a horse entered the system.”

“Any suggestions?”

“Thanks for checking Ann. I will ask Peggy to see if she can look into giving them their voice back. Then we can ask them. We owe them that much.”

Ann nods, she didn´t expect anything else from John.

“They are very lucky with you as an owner.”

John shakes his head.

“Yeah, but I would prefer if I know what happened to them.”

 

* *  *

“John?”

John can hear that Peggy has something for him.

“Yeah, what is up?”

It can´t be good by the troubled look on her face.

“You asked me to check if it would be possible to restore Peter and Neal´s voice.”

“Yeah, and?”

“I did some research and consulted several specialists.”

“I hear a but coming.”

“They all tell me it will be extremely difficult, especially with Neal´s. I can only guess of course, but I think they operated on him in a weakened condition, resulting in much more scaring than Peter. Or maybe it was a different physician.”

“But can it be done?”

“Yes, we can definitely try.”

“Please contact the best surgeons, so we can give them back their voices. They are traumatized enough, they should be able to at least comfort each other. Maybe if we have a better understanding of what happened, we can take better care of them.”

“You are right. I will look for surgeons I trust. You work further with Neal, so he will be more comfortable around medical personnel.”

“I will. Can you also have a look for a skin graft for the brand. I would like to have it removed. If it isn´t possible, I would like to have it transformed in something else. They don´t need a constant reminder of their previous owner.”

“I will check it out.”

“That is why I love you.”

“You want coffee, don´t you? Flatterer.”

“That would be nice. I am going to lock up for the night.”

John walks through the kitchen to the stable next door. He doesn´t turn on the light. There is a night light because John found out it relaxes Neal. He looks into the stable and finds both men slaying next to each other on the blanket he draped over a big pile of hay. They seem to be sleeping peacefully, which isn´t always the case.

Peggy and he never planned to keep two horses, but John couldn´t get it over his heart to have them resold. After a second failed attempt to use Peter as a stud, they decided that it was in everybody´s best interest not to use both ponies as studs.

John quietly checks if the doors are locked, before joining his wife in the living room. He needs to discuss the operation with Peter and Neal. But he is fairly sure they will be thrilled.

 

* *  *

 

 

The day of the surgery, John is probably more nervous than Peter and Neal. Peggy explained to them what they want to do and both ponies seemed to agree in the surgery. A specialist from Equine Hospital Services flew in to perform the surgery.

After an extensive pre-op checkup, he decides to start on Peter, his operation will be the easiest. Peter and Neal spent all night close to each other in their old stable at Vesta Stables. Their accommodation is better equipped for the operation. John walks up to the stable and they are both waiting for them near the door.

“Good morning boys, ready for the big day?”

Both men shake their head and Neal whines and leans into Peter. Peter bumps him with his head while John administers a light sedative so Peter will be calm before being taken to the operating table.

Once his head starts sagging and his eyes start drooping, he guides Peter towards the vet room. The surgeon is already waiting with his team, together with Peggy, they will take care of Peter. Peter is put on the table and the anesthesia is administered. A breathing tube is put in position and Peter is restrained so he can´t move during the delicate surgery. His head is also fixed and then John leaves the room to let the doctors work. He walks back to Neal who is nervously stomping through his stable. John determines that it would be best to keep Neal occupied.

“He is doing well, Neal. They will take good care of him. Let´s get you outside.”

Neal follows John outside and tugs towards the pool.

“You want to exercise in the water?”

Neal nods and his halter is fastened to the side once he is in the middle of the trench, when the treadmill starts, Neal starts walking, first a slow trot to warm up. The machine speeds up and Neal needs to trot. John keeps a close eye if Neal gets winded. After about fifteen minutes he slows the treadmill and let´s Neal slow down.

When they stop and John guides Neal out of the trench, he shakes the excess water off. John quickly dries him off and they walk to the tack room, for a new boots and harness. After grooming Neal, they walk back and John feeds Neal a small piece of cake before checking if they finished with Peter. As it turns out, they are finishing up.

Once again, the stable is readied for Peter and Neal is lead in. When nobody brings Peter, Neal starts to whine and kick the door until John shows up.

“I´m sorry Neal, but we are keeping Peter in the vets room, because he still has the breathing tube. You want to go see him?”

Neal nods and Johns takes him out and leads him to the vet room. They stay in the door opening. Peter is lying comfortable on the table but Neal pales when he sees the breathing tube and the IV´s.

“It´s OK Neal, Peter is doing good. We are keeping him sedated since we want his vocal cords to heal a bit more before removing the breathing tube. But he is doing well.”

Neal looks not so sure but allows himself to be lead way by John.

 

* *  *

 

“Peter?”

“Wha…” he croaks groggily.

Peter is still too out of it to realize that something epic just happened. The doctors surrounding him all smile.

“I think the operation was a success. But we will have to wait for the final result until the swelling is gone. Any idea how we are going to prevent him from talking?”

“We could gag him.” One of the doctors suggests.

“NO. Absolutely not. He is a rescue case and he was abused. We are not going to gag him.” I suggest we let him wake up and explain he needs to heal first, before trying to talk. If that doesn´t work, we can always keep him under light sedation.

“I agree with Peggy, let´s get him back to the stable and let him wake up properly.”

Peter is being brought back to the stable where Neal is already pacing anxiously.

“It´s OK, Neal, Peter is doing well, he was awake already, but he is still drowsy. Let´s him wake up in peace, shall we?”

Neal nods nervously.

They arrange Peter on one of the warm water beds.

“Do you want to keep him company?”

Neal looks nervously at peter.

“You can, he is Ok, Neal.”

Neal quickly lays down next to Peter and John throws a warm soft blanket over both of them.

“Rest Neal, keep Peter company. If he is uncomfortable, let us know, OK? You remember the emergency button, right?”

Neal nods and settles next to Peter. Peter Wakes up a couple of times, but falls asleep again almost immediately.

Peggy checks in and checks Peter´s vitals. When she touches him, he startles awake.

“Shh Peter, shh, it´s me Peggy. Are you in pain? Don t try to talk. Just shake or nod your head.”

She can see that Peter thinks about it and then shakes his head before his eyes droop close again. Peggy adjusts the IV hydrating Peter and adds a bit of painkiller.

The surgeon gives his permission to take Peter home. So he is transferred to a gurney in the trailer. Neal anxiously watching him during the ride home.

 

* *  *

One they are home, Peter is place on one of the warm water beds in the stable. He is checked again by Peggy.

“He is doing good, Neal. Come with me, I will get you some lunch. Peter will sleep some more.”

Neal follows Peggy towards the kitchen she leaves the barn door open and starts preparing lunch for Neal. She hears a hesitant hoof sound when Neal enters the kitchen. She is turned away from him and smiles when she realizes Neal is giving in to his curiosity. When she moves to take something from the cupboard, Neal startles and looks like a deer caught in headlights.

“It´s OK, Neal, you can come inside.”

She slowly turns, making sure her body language is non-threatening and open. She smiles.

“Hi Neal, come in, you know, there is a reason why the stable is attached to the house.”

Neal looks around. The kitchen is large, cozy, light, it has a homey feeling. He gives Peggy a small smile.

“You’re hungry? Or just looking for a snack?”

Neal´s eye zooms in on the apple cake on the table. Peggy laughs.

“I know you have a sweet tooth, but shouldn´t you eat something more sensible?”

Neal gives her his biggest puppy dog eyes.

“You are definitely a charmer, I can tell. OK, but just a small piece.”

Peggy cuts off the piece and feeds it to him.

“You want company, right? Are you worried about Peter?”

Neal nods.

“That is understandable. But he is doing very well. I have been monitoring him.”

Peggy points to a laptop on the kitchen counter. Neal is surprised to see it is live feed from their stable.

“John and I won´t let anything happen to you.”

Neal walks up to her and bumps her in the shoulder.

“I know you are worried. But he was awake before and we heard his voice.”

Neal stares at he in shock. Peggy smiles.

“Yes, we were able to restore his voice. But I like to keep him mildly sedated so he won´t try to talk. Do you understand? We need the swelling to decrease before we try for him to talk.”

Neal nods.


	8. Voiced and unvoiced

Peter wakes to an uncomfortable feeling. He moans to give an out to the pain. He startles a bit by the sound. Someone must have heard him.

“It´s OK., Peter, I upped your pain meds. Try to relax, they will kick in soon. The operation went very well.”

 

_Peter is shouting for them to leave Neal alone. For some reason, they have it in for Neal. They work them both hard, but Neal definitely gets the brunt of the abuse. They haven´t fed him for some time. He saw Neal pass out already twice. Blood has dried on his face and he is on his knees in front of his tormentors._

 

__

 

_He isn´t broken yet, but Peter has a bad feeling it won´t take long anymore. He is really at his breaking point and the men working them over, realize it. They focus solely on Neal at the moment._

_He can see one of the man take a baton and swing for Neal._

_“NEAL! WATCH OUT!”_

_Neal ducks under the swing aimed for his arm. He stumbles upright and tries to run, but the lack of food and water is taking its toll. One of the guards tackles Neal and he hits his head hard when he goes down. He stays down, probably knocked out._

_“NEAL! You son of a bitch. I…”_

_“You what?”_

_“I will fucking kill you. I…”_

_The man turns away and calls out to one of the other´s._

_“I´m done with your yelling and warning this one.” He gives Neal a kick with his boot, but Neal stays limp, “get the vet.”_

_“They will find us, the FBI will not leave a stone unturned when you take two of their agents.”_

  _The man gives a sinister laugh but doesn´t say anything. Peter struggles in his restraints. Whatever they are planning, it can´t be good._

_“Bring him over and take the other one as well.”_

_When they come closer to unfasten him, Peter kicks out and hits one of the men in the thigh. The man´s howl sounds like music in his ears. But the victory is short lived when he feels a sting in his upper arm and the worlds just drops from underneath him._

_When he wakes up, he feels that he is doped up. There is no real pain, well it is far away, distant. At the moment it is more like a discomfort._

_Peter tries to make sense of it all. Where is he? What happened?_

_It isn´t until the stench of wet and molten straw assaults his sense of smell that he flights the drugged feeling and he tries to open his eyes. The first thing he sees, is Neal. He is on his side and he is pale as a sheet. He has vomited and there is a mess of blood and bile. Luckily, he is on his side or he could have suffocated._

_“…”_

_Pain shoots through his throat when he tries to call out for Neal. But what makes his heart thump in his throat is that there was no sound only air displacement. Panic builds in his gut, his brain catching up with what has happened._

_They cut his vocal cords and by the look of it, Neal´s as well. They are so screwed. This takes their kidnapping to a whole new level. These guys have no scruples. He needs to think. He takes a couple of deep breaths but for some reason, the anxiety keeps gnawing at him._

_He tries to move closer to Neal and nudges him, but he is out cold. What worries him is Neal´s paleness and the flush on his cheeks. It appears that he has a fever._

_Peter crawls closer and puts his face against Neal´s. He is shocked, Neal is burning up._

_Peter staggers upright and starts kicking the door of the stable. It doesn´t take long before the stable door opens and two men enter. Peter points with his head towards Neal but one of the men already kneels next to Neal._

_“Shit, he developed a fever. Cool him down.”_

_The other man grabs Peter´s stud chain and pulls it roughly, so Peter can only follow if he doesn´t want to be choked;_

_One of the other men has taken a bucket of water and dumps it over Neal, but he doesn´t respond at all._

_Peter´s worry skyrockets._

_“Fuck, call the vet back. The boss will be pissed if something happens to this one.”_

_Someone tries to rouse Neal and Peter wants to approach, but he is restrained against a wall while they keep trying to wake up Neal. A cattle prod is pushed against Neal´s side and he jolts awake. His mouth opening in a cry, but there is no sound. Peter can see that Neal´s eyes are unfocused from the ragging fever. He is pulled upright, but his legs are not carrying him and he drops down hard, blood and drool is seeping from his open mouth.. Peter is shouting but there is no sound leaving his lips._

_* *  *_

Peter wakes up to pain. He mans without opening his eyes. Neal! Where is Neal!

“Neal?” he croaks.

“Peter?” Don´t talk. Can you open your eyes?”

“Peter slowly opens his eyes. They made sure to dim the lights in the stable, so he isn´t blinded.

“Hey gorgeous. I guess you were dreaming, well, it sounded more like a nightmare. Are you in pain?”

Peter nods.

“I will take care of it. Remember, let your voice rest.”

“peter doesn´t understand until suddenly the click is there. Peggy must see the realization on his face. She laughs.

“Yes Peter, we were able to restore your voice. That moan was you. But please, the swelling is decreasing and I want it to go down some more before we try for you to talk, OK?” I will get you some pain medication.”

Peter nods again. He hears hooves and turns his head to see Neal walking in and laying down next to him. He slowly puts his head against Peter´s.

Peggy also enters an injects something in Peter´s IV. The pain almost immediately retreats and Peter feels much better.

 

* *  *

 

“Peter, I want to do a final check-up before you can try to talk.”

Peter nods and looks up at Neal´s worried face.

Peggy checks his vitals, checks his vocal cords with a laryngoscope. When she finishes, she smiles and Peter let´s out a breath he has been holding. Peggy smiles.

“Hi…. Hi.” Peter says breathy.

Neal gasps and Peter looks at him, just in time to see tears spilling.

“Neal.”

Neal blinks against the tears.

“Neal.” Peter smiles;

He looks at John and Peggy and swallows against the lump in his throat.

“Thank you.”

Peggy kneels down next to him.

“Oh sweetheart, you are so welcome. Drink something. I know you have lots to talk about, but remember you are still healing.”

“Sure, can you free my arms?”

Peggy looks up at John, who hurries to comply. Peter sighs when he puts his arms in front of him.

“Can you free Neal as well?”

“Sure.”

Once Neal is free of his restraints, they fall into each other’s arms. Peter whispers something in Neal´s ear, who nods. Peggy and John leave them some privacy.

 

* *  *

 

“So, you never entered the life voluntarily?”

“No, Neal and I were working undercover to take down a big player in the scene. I went in as an owner and Neal as a trainer. I don´t know what gave us away or who snitched on us, but we were taken from our hotel. When we woke up, it was in some stable.”

John and Peggy look shocked.

“That explains why we couldn´t find anything on you guys.”

“You researched us,”

“When you were brought in after the rescue, we assumed that you were just two stallions who got an abusive owner. We tried to find out about your history but we couldn´t find anything. We always assumed you were unfortunate victims, but we also assumed you entered the system legally and willingly. I´m sorry.”

“For what? You took great care of us. Look at Neal. I can´t thank you enough. You took us in and took care of us. You healed him, you took care of him, you took care of me.”

“It is our pleasure.”

Peggy turns to Neal.

“You are next, you OK with that?”

Neal nods.

“Good, I asked the team to prepare your surgery as soon as possible.”

Peter puts his arm around Neal, who leans into the touch.

“Is there someone we should contact? Family?”

Peter thinks and studies Neal.

“Not at the moment. We have been away so long…” Peter trails off, “or do you want us to leave now that we…”

“Peggy looks shocked.

“No, absolutely not. We love having you guys here. Our home is your home.” John states firmly.

“But is there nobody we should warn?”

Peter thinks, it is all a bit too much to comprehend. Rationally, he knows he should contact the FBI, but on the other hand, he wants Neal to have his voice back, before…Maybe he should take Neal to a renowned hospital. On the other hand the team that took care of him did a great job. He is not sure what to do. After all this time where he was not allowed to think and just had to react, it is difficult to take charge. He…

Neal puts his arms around him and kisses him gently. Peter knows what Neal wants to say. Relax, stop worrying. Everything will be alright.

“Do you want to sleep in the house? I mean, we can´t make you sleep in the stable now that we know you are not really into this.” Peggy sound uncomfortable and unsure.

Peter studies Neal who also looks unsure about the whole thing.

“Maybe it would be nice to sleep in a bed. Not that your stable is not comfortable. It…”

“It´s OK, you don´t need to explain. I will ready the guestroom. But There is only one double bed.”

“That´s fine, thanks.”

 

* *  *

 

The next morning John gets up and goes downstairs to make some coffee. Peggy left early for a consult at a neighboring farm. John walks into the kitchen and can see the door to the stable is open. Neal and Peter are sleeping on their warm water bed in the soft hay.

John gives a small sad smile. They must have decided somewhere during the night that they were more comfortable in the stable.

 

 

 


	9. It never goes as planned

 

“Neal, are you feeling alright? You look a bit pale.”

Neal leans into Peter´s hug.

“You are going to be OK.”

Peter keeps Neal in his bear hug while Peggy administers a sedative in Neal´s IV. Peter keeps talking to Neal, reassuring him until he can feel Neal slowly getting limp. He can tell when Neal is out the moment he really has to support him.

“OK Peter, we will take it from here. Why don´t you wait in the kitchen?”

“Sure. Good luck.”

Peter walks out in search of John. He finds him working with a nice mare. She has a nice trot and she seems to be enjoying herself. It was strange to find out that all the other horses at Vesta Stables are there because they want to be. It is a concept that never occurred to Peter, he always thought that most of the horses are forced into the life.

“Hi John.”

“Oh Hi Peter, Neal under?”

“Yeah.”

John studies Peter. He can see the tension in Peter´s posture.

“You want to go in harness?”

Peter thinks about it and then nods. He doesn´t speak. When he gets into pony headspace, he tends not to talk. John calls out for a stable hand to take over his training so he can spend time with Peter.

John takes a piece of rope and quickly and efficiently restrains Peter and guides him to the stable where he takes out Peter´s tack and starts grooming him. He can see it relaxes Peter.

 

 

When he is in full harness, John takes him out and makes him work out in the walker.

It feels good not to have to think human thoughts, just follow the directions of the handler. Peter clears his mind and let´s himself sink into his pony space.

 

* *  *

 

A tug on the lounge line makes Peter stop. His feet hurt and his muscles are tired, but he feels good. All stress is gone and he hasn´t been thinking about Neal, his mind is clear again.

“Neal is out of surgery. Do you want to see him?”

Peter looks up. He can see the stable hand walking away, he probably told John the news. Of course he wants to. Something must have happened if they stopped this soon. He runs towards the vet room. Neal is sleeping, but the intubation tube is still present. There are wires and tubes everywhere. His face is flushed and there is a sheen of sweat on his face. There is what looks like an inflatable blanket covering him.

“Peter, Neal is fine. But we discovered that Neal has a disorder called Maglignant Hyperthermia. Unfortunately, this disorder is triggered when someone who carries the gene is exposed to certain inhaled anesthetics. the intubation tube is just a precaution, because we don´t want swelling in his throat to compromise his airway. Once he is a bit more alert and the swelling stays down, we will remove it.”

“Is he in pain?”

“No, we are monitoring him closely. Why don´t you get out of harness and sit with him?”

Peter studies himself, he forgot he was still in tack. He walks to the stable where a stable hand helps him out take the harness off. He then quickly walks back to the vet room where Peggy already put a chair next to Neal.

“What happened?”

“When we brought Neal under, we experienced unexpected reactions. When a patient who carries the gene is exposed to certain anesthetics, the metabolism speeds up, the muscles become rigid and the body temperature rises dramatically. Luckily our team recognized the signs and immediately pushed Dantrolene, which is a muscle relaxant and an antidote. We were able to get Neal´s vitals back under control and he is not in any danger at the moment.”

“So you were not able to perform the surgery?”

Peggy shakes her head.

“No, I am sorry.”

Peter nods.

“This is what probably happened when they took his voice. He had a high fever and didn´t respond to anything.”

“They were lucky he survived, sometimes this disorder will cause circulatory collapse and death if it is not treated. I don´t think the vet that operated on you guys at the time had the skills and the means to treat Neal properly.”

Peter can feel tears built in his eyes when he thinks back at that moment he realized Neal was not OK.

“Peter, I want you to go have some dinner with John. I will take care of Neal.”

“He still hasn´t woken up, is that normal?”

“It is to be expected, but we are monitoring him closely.”

“I will stay with him.”

“Peter, please, let us work, and get some food, I don´t want to worry about you too, OK?”

Peter nods. He knows she is right. He gets up and walks out to look for John.

 

* *  *

 

_He wakes because he is dunked with ice cold water. What is happening? What. A cattle prod is pushed against him and pain shoots through him. He gasps and tries to get away from the cattle prod. Someone pulls him upright and he does his best to get his legs under himself, but they feel like jelly and he drops down hard. He has trouble focusing on things and he is so hot. The nausea is building and he starts dry heaving. The pain in his throat is excruciating and he can feel his vision whiting out. He is kicked again, and he tries to crawl away._

_“I guess he is OK. If he can crawl, he will be OK.”_

_Cruel laughter can be heard._

_“Make sure his fever stays down, we don´t want him to cook his brain.”_

_Neal tries to curl up in a ball, but he is again kicked and uncurls himself._

_A man pulls his head up and another one fastens a spiked bit between his teeth. He is too weak to fight them off. While they are buckling the bit in his mouth, Neal realizes this one gives them serious control. The spikes are sharp unyielding steel. The joint in the bit snaffle means the spikes dig painfully into the corners of his mouth, and that is without any pressure of a lead rope or reins._

_“Put the bulldog on him.”_

_Neal is frantically searching for the dog when a clamp is pinched on his septum. The bull dog they were talking about turns out to be a nose grip. Tears spring in his eyes when the clamp´s spring closes. They loop a piece of leather through it and it is pulled. Neal cries out, but there is no sound. He suddenly realizes what must have happened. That is also why he doesn´t hear Peter._

_They put on a posture collar that prevents Neal from looking up or down, but worse, it forces his jaw closed around the spiked bit. They loop reins from the bit rings down his back and attach them to his bound wrists. Neal is desperate, if he so much as tries to move his bound arms, he will pull on the bit and the spikes will dig in his lips, tongue and gums._

_He is once again pulled to his feet and they start to buckle again._

_“You better stay upright, because you will suffocate yourself otherwise.” A menacing voice hisses in his ear._

_Neal realizes they attached his chock chain to a ring in the wall of the stable. He uses all of his strength to stay upright. There is pain everywhere, in his throat, nose, where they kicked him and prodded him. He is miserable, and all he wants to do is lay down and feel sorry for himself._

_He tries to turn and see where Peter is, but he stands on the other side of the stable and is wearing blinders, so he won´t be able to see him. He can see that Peter is worried and anxious, not being able to see what is happening to Neal._

_* *  *_

 

Neal wakes up feeling sticky, hot and feeling generally not well. It takes him a moment to realize that something is wrong.

“Neal? Neal can you hear me, I want you to keep calm, OK. The ventilator is breathing for you.”

That is what is wrong, he isn´t breathing, panic bubbles up and someone holds his hand, and he wants to pull away, until he hears it is Peter.

“Neal, calm down, you are fine, I am here.”

Neal opens his eyes and looks into Peter´s worried face. Peter must have guessed his question, because he asks Peggy to explain to Neal what happened.

She explains but Neal is feeling too sick to really care what she is saying. He gestures to the ventilator and she explains it is just a precaution until they are sure he is not having side effects. He nods but can feel drugs pulling him down again and he lets go.

 

* *  *

 

Peggy pushes a light sedative so Neal would be more relaxed, but he just fell asleep again. She can see that peter is worried.

“He is doing good, Peter, we will take care of him. Finding out that he has the disorder is just a setback, we are not giving up.”

“Thank you, Peggy, it is just, he has been through so much. I…”

“We will find a way, Peter. Stay with him, I will go talk to his surgeon.”

“Thanks.”

 

* *  *

 

_One of the breakers approaches him. He has something is his hand and Neal tries to see what it is. When he does see it, he panics and tries to pull away, but another man pulls up his choke chain, effectively cutting off his air. Foam plugs are pushed into his nose, in a reflex, Neal wants to open his mouth, but the posture collar pushes his jaw closed around the bit. He does his best to open his mouth as far as he can to make sure he gets enough air. The choke chain is released and a pull on the reins makes sure Neal complies in following the breaker. He is lead to a treadmill. His choke chain is attached to it, so he knows he will need to run once the machine starts otherwise he will strangle himself._

_The machine starts and Neal starts trotting. He can´t pull in enough air because he can´t use his nose anymore and the tight harness restricts his breathing on the best of days. He is getting lightheaded. A whip makes sure he knows what he needs to adjust in his trot. The strain on his upper body from having his elbows bound behind his back and the harness, make sure it feels like he is trying to fill his lungs through a straw. He can feel the panic rising, he can´t get enough air, he is suffocating. The feeling terrifies him._

“Neal! Breathe!”

He startles and pulls in a gulp of air. He opens his eyes, only to stare in the worried face of Peggy and Peter.

“Thank God.”

Neal´s eyes must look panicked, because Peggy pets Neal´s arm.

“You’re OK, Neal. We think you might have been dreaming and you were gasping for air. You had us worried for a second. We removed the ventilator earlier.”

Neal does his best to get his bearing. Dreaming might not be the right word to describe the nightmare he just relieved, and the worst part is, it is not a dream, it really happened.

He nods that he is OK and Peter nods back. He understands, he probably knows what Neal was reliving.

 

* *  *

 

Neal and Peter carefully leave the trailer and walk with John back to their stable. John leaves them to take a shower.

Neal follows his nose, after a day at Vesta Stables, working out with the other ponies, he is hungry. The door between the stable door and the kitchen is now permanently open. Peggy always gives John a lunch box for them, but he is still hungry and he always tries to steal a snack from the kitchen or to make Peggy give him something. He peers into the kitchen and Peter studies how stealthy Neal can be, even with the hooved boots. He quickly sneaks into the kitchen, gets a piece of cucumber and is out again, before anyone is the wiser.

“There was no cake, hmm?” Peter smiles.

Neal smiles back a bit guilty and nods his head, nibbling on the piece of cucumber. He almost chokes on the piece when John comes in to call them in for dinner. The takes them out of harness and they follow John into the kitchen and Peggy serves their dinner.

“Neal, I asked Frank Blanck to look into your anesthesia and he has a solution. He has a sedative that he can use safely. But to be safe, he wants to perform the surgery in a trauma center.”

Neal looks up and a bit unsure.

“We will be with you. I will join the team like we did here. I think we should give it a try. He guarantees that it is safe to use this sedative and he gave me some scientific reports that substantiate his claim. I think we should try it.”

Peter turns to Neal to see what Neal would want.

“Neal, I also think you should do it. I really want to hear that silver tongue of you again.” Peter smiles and Neal smiles shyly. He nods. There is no other option, he can´t go through live a mute. He needs his voice.


	10. Getting one´s voice back

“Neal? Neal? Wake up sweetie. Everything went alright. Can you open your eyes for me?”

Neal startles when someone uses a warm washcloth to refresh his face. He does his best to open his eyes, but everything is blurry and he is tired. He just wants to go back to sleep. There is an annoying beeping next to his head and he … he just wants to sleep.

“Hey sleepy head, wake up.”

Peter? Wait, something is not right. Wait… Peter can talk… the surgery! Neal does his best to open his eyes, only to blink against the brightness of the room.

“Did…” Tears pool in his eyes. His voice… He has his voice back. It sounds strange to him, disuse probably.

“Don´t talk just yet Neal. We know you are eager, but remember with Peter, he also had to wait, right?”

He turns his head towards Peggy and gives a tired smile.

“Hey Neal. The surgery went well.”

Neal turns his head back towards Peter. He looks worried, but is also smiling. If Peter is smiling, everything will be Ok.

“Everything will be alright Neal. We will talk later. Just rest for now.”

Neal has to admit that his eyelids feel like a ton, so he gladly lets them slip close.

 

* *  *

 

As soon as the surgeon clears Neal, they leave the hospital. It turns out that Neal doesn´t cope well, being in public. He lays awake because he feels like he is being watched, even if they put him at the end of the hallway. Neal is constantly on guard and anxious and everyone agrees that he doesn´t need the added stress while healing. So as soon as it is medical responsible, the doctors clear him to recuperate at home.

Peggy suggested that Neal sleeps in their guest bedroom, but he chooses the stable instead. It is a bit worrying, but Peter doesn´t say anything, he just wants Neal to get better. He starts to see Neal is more traumatized then anybody realizes, maybe even Neal himself. They will and need to talk when Neal´s voice is healed.

Peter heard Neal´s voice in the hospital and it doesn´t even sound close to the smooth tenor he used to have, it is breathy and scratchy. Peter asked Peggy about it in the hospital and she explained that Neal´s vocal cords have significant scaring. But they are hopeful that with speech therapy, he should be able to talk without discomfort. And in the light of things, Peter is glad Neal has a voice, even if it doesn´t sound the same. Nothing will ever be the same.

Peter walks up to Neal´s cot and smiles when he sees Neal is awake.

“Hi Peter.” Neal croaks.

“Hi Neal. How are you holding up?”

“Good, I´m fine.”

“You don´t know the meaning of the word, but I agree, you will be. But please rest your voice, it is still healing. You heard the doctor, you need a lot of rest.”

Neal nods.

John enters the stable and asks if they want some coffee and smiles when he sees Peter´s eyes light up. Just like Neal has a sweet tooth, Peter is a sucker for coffee.

“Sure, thanks.”

Both men get up and walk into the kitchen.

“Neal, is there anything you would like to do to relax? Peter told us you like to draw?” John sounds a bit unsure.

Neal nods smiling.

John walks to his office and comes back out with a big brown paper bag. It is filled to the brim with pencils, paper, pens, paints. Neal´s eyes widen and he lets his fingers roam over the supplies. He carefully takes out the sketchbook and opens it. He studies the pencils, decides on one and then starts drawing.

Peter and John leave him and go outside. Peter helps John fix the fence. They noticed earlier that there was a breach while training.

Sometime later, Neal joins them, he is on edge, not only Peter can tell, but John as well.

“Neal, Come here please. Follow me.”

Peter can see Neal slip in pony head space the moment he hears John commanding tone. He takes Neal to the tack room. Peter follows as well. It will be good to work out the excess energy. John quickly and efficiently gears them up and since he doesn’t have the training facilities they have at Vesta, he decides to have both horses pull a cart. He straps their harness to the cart.

“Square up.”

Both Peter and Neal take the position, John clucks his tongue and they are off. Neal takes an easy trot, he has always been a more elegant runner. But since they have been training a lot lately, they keep up with each other.

When John sees that the tension has left Neal, he guides them back to the house. He grooms both horses and guides them back to the stable for a rest before dinner.

“You Ok?” Peter asks Neal.

“Yeah, just…” Neal looks at Peter but doesn´t finish his sentence.

“I know, kid, I know.

“I´m thirsty.”

“Go get something to drink in the kitchen.

“Yeah, I will…”

Peter knows Neal will have a flashback any minute. He normally doesn´t hesitate to get a drink from the water fountain or the fridge in the kitchen. But Peter can only imagine what Neal is thinking.

 

_They haven´t given Neal any fluids for some time know and his throat is parched. He isn´t drooling anymore, he feels faint and feels like he is going to pass out any moment._

_They must have noticed, because he is led back inside. Neal feels a pang of relief until he sees the vet waiting for him. That is never a good sign._

_“You think he is dehydrated?”_

_The man checks him and nods._

_“Yeah, he really is, but I was given orders to hydrate him, so it will be OK.”_

_“Whatever the boss says, shall I get the canister?”_

_“Yes, please, make it the gallon one.”_

_Neal is stepping nervously on the place, since he is tied off with a short lead rein. When he feels the spreader bar being fastened, his heart makes a leap. Next comes the posture collar, the bit is taken out and switched with a mouth piece that straps around his head and keep his mouth open around a tube._

_The stable hand comes back with a large water canister, normally containing water for the horses. With an electronic switch it is possible to control the flow of water coming out._

_“See this contraption, made it myself. If no water is coming out, you can breathe, otherwise…” he laughs, “how much water?” he asks the vet._

_“Let´s start with 1,5 liter, that should make it uncomfortable.”_

_At the bottom of the canister, there is an opening. A large tube is clicked in place, the other end of the tube fits Neal´s mouth piece._

_The man activates the button and a predetermined amount of water is let go. It is an uncomfortably large amount of water and Neal fears he will drown when he tries to breathe. Then suddenly the water flow stops and Neal can breathe again. Then the water starts again and the cycle continues._

_The posture collar makes sure Neal can only look in front of him towards the canister. When he takes a breathe, he knows that any moment now a new amount will flow into his mouth, and the only way to get rid of it and breathe, is to swallow it. Neal can only obediently wait for the next amount to swallow._

_“While you entertain yourself drinking, I will quickly put in a catheter, I think your owner will enjoy the look. It always suits you nice when you can´t piss.”_

_Neal wants to move, but there isn´t much room with the spreader bar and when he feels his flaccid penis being held and the burning sensation of the catheter entering, all he can do is swallow the next amount of water._

* *  *

 

“One more set and then we can stop.” The speech therapist is a nice older lady who is very patient. She reminds Neal a bit of June. He works hard with her and his voice is building in strength.

Neal finishes the sets and they say goodbye. When she leaves the kitchen, Neal walks to the stable and slumps down on the fresh hay. Therapy always leaves him tired. And before he knows it, he dozes off.

“Neal? Dinner is ready.”

Neal slowly wakes up and realizes he is more tired than he was before he fell asleep.

“What?”

“Dinner is ready. Let´s go.”

“Yeah, give me a second.”

He gets his bearings and walks into the kitchen where John, Peggy and Peter are waiting for him. The moment he sits down, Peggy fills their plates.

“How did it go today?” Peggy asks while sitting down again.

“Good, Magda told me she is happy with my progress.”

“Good to hear.”

Everybody is avoiding the great big elephant in the room until Peter suddenly speaks up.

“We need to contact the FBI.”

Neal swallows his bite and puts his fork down.

“I know you are not ready Neal, but we need to start looking on how we are going to move forward.”

Neal gets up and leaves the kitchen. Peter wants to follow him, but John makes a motion to sit down again. He points towards the stable camera and Peter can see Neal is standing in the stable, with his back towards them.

“Give him a moment and then you should have a talk to him. Maybe you can contact the FBI but leave Neal here while you take care of things.”

Peter thinks about it and nods. This is so fucked up, he doesn´t know what to do. He gets up and walks into the stable. He can hear John closing the door behind him, giving them privacy.

“I need to find them, Neal. You know that.”

Neal nods, he doesn´t want to say anything, fearing his voice will betray him and show his emotions.

“And I realize you are not ready to come with me. Hell, I am not ready to face everybody.”

They stay a bit like that until Neal speaks up.

“What are we going to tell them?”

“The truth…”

“Peter, I…” Neal shakes his head, not able to voice what he is thinking.

“But these people should pay for what they did to us, for what they are probably still doing to others.”

That gets Neal´s attention. “You are right, we should stop them.”

 

* *  *

 

The telephone rings and Peggy picks up.

“Hello?”

“ _Peggy Clark?”_

“Yes.”

“ _My name is Diana Berrigan, I am an FBI-agent.”_

“How can I help you?”

“I am a colleague of Peter Burke.”

Peggy lets out a gasp.

“We were informed by a local hospital that a Neal Caffrey underwent surgery and that you were his person of contact. Is that correct?”

“Yes, it is.”

“Ma’am, we have been looking for Peter Burke and Neal Caffrey for over two years. Can you confirm that you know the whereabouts of Peter and Neal?”

“Yes they are staying at my house.”

Now it is Diana´s turn to gasp.

Can I talk to either one of them?

“Sure, I will call them.”

Peggy walks out and finds Peter working with John, she isn´t able to locate Neal, but he is probably sketching somewhere.

“PETER!”

Peter walks up to her.

“I have an agent Diana Berrigan on the line and she wants to talk to you.”

Peter stops and takes a couple of deep breaths.

“What is wrong, she told me she is a colleague of yours.”

Peter swallows and wets his mouth, “yeah, she is. I… where is the telephone?”

“In the living room.”

Peter picks it up and listens but doesn´t say anything, but leave it up to Diana to picks up on it.

“ _Peter?”_

“Diana.”

“ _Oh my God, Peter, it really is you.”_

Peter smiles, “Yes, it is. How are you?”

“ _How am I? Peter, we thought you were dead. Why didn´t you let us know you are alive? We were worried sick.”_

Peter swallows. He has trouble thinking, the tone of her voice changed into that of Diana Berrigan, special agent. Peggy notices he is getting into pony head space and takes over the phone.

“Diana? Peter needs a bit of time. Maybe you can come over and you can talk about what happened and see from there how you are going to handle this.”

“ _Are they alright?”_

“They went through a lot but they are getting there. Like I said, maybe you should come over. Let me give you my address.”

Peggy finishes the phone call and pets Peter on the back.

“It is all going to be alright. Come, let´s go see John.


	11. Above the bit

Once Peter has worked through his anxiety, they all sit down to see how they will prepare for Diana´s visit.

“What are your fears?” Peggy asks Peter.

Peter thinks a moment and then tries to explain.

“I guess, I always was a leader, I took charge and now, the moment a voice gets too dominant, I slip into pony headspace, and I have a feeling I can´t control it. I try to fight it, but for some reason, it just happens.”

“OK, we can work with that, I understand the sentiment and I understand your fear better. But I also have to warn you, that we can´t re-train you in such a short amount of time.”

Peter understands. It is his problem, not Peggy´s and John´s. And that is his frustration, he can´t seem to stop the reflex.

 

_“Position.”_

_When Peter doesn´t instantly take the position, a shock from the shock collar sends him on his knees. He immediately struggles to get back up. Because he knows by now the second shock will be much worse._

_“Get it in that thick skull of yours, you don´t think, you just do.”_

“Peter?”

Peter´s head snaps up.

“Sorry, I…”

“No need to apologize. We need to discuss what we will do, when you enter pony space when your colleague is here. What do you want us to do?”

Peter hesitates, he doesn´t want anybody to know. Or does he?”

John can tell Peter is struggling so he addresses Neal. “What is your biggest fear?”

“I wouldn´t be comfortable f they found out what happened to me, but Peter seems determined to bring these guys to justice, so I guess everybody will know eventually.”

“Well, there is no reason why they should. Pony cases are always in a closed court, since ponies can´t be held accountable for a lot of things, their owners are, so that shouldn´t be a problem. I can´t prevent your colleagues to find out, but we will see what we can do.”

“When I think about it, I don´t mind family and friends knowing, it would explain a lot to them. I am not ashamed of it. This wasn´t my choice. I was forced into it.”

“You shouldn´t be ashamed, you are a gorgeous Arabian. I am proud to have you in our stable.”

Neal smiles bashfully.

“Can I ask you a personal question?”

“Sure.”

“Were you always a submissive personality?”

Peter looks a bit surprised, but Neal only nods. He gives a sweet smile towards Peter and then somehow it clicks also in Peter´s mind.

“You could tell?”

“Yes, even traumatized and Neal, you really are traumatized, you have a natural flair for it. I could tell for the first time I saw you in the trailer that Peter was more dominant and you more submissive.”

That makes sense to Neal. It also triggers memories.

 

_Someone enters the trailer. He stays in the door of the trailer and doesn´t move for a moment. Neal can feel the anxiety built in him and he realizes Peter picks up on it. He takes a protective stance in front of him, as far as his leash allows him. It pulls uncomfortable on his bit and he groans around the pain in his mouth, but the adrenaline rushes through his system._

_Neal wants to move, but his leg just hurts too much and the pain shoots through him when he puts weight on it. Neal can hear the man move and his fear gets the better of him, making him breeze nervously. He can´t see the man, but he can hear him approach._

_“Hey boys. You are going to be OK. We are going to take care of you.” He shushes them._

_Neal does his best to be able to predict what the man wants of them, what he is up to. When he realizes the man is walking up to them, he wants to flee, but since he can´t, he starts to step nervously around. He can feel Peter trying to protect him. The man leaves the trailer, but it doesn´t take long before he is back with someone else._

_“It´s OK boy, you guys are safe here. Let us get you out and take care of you, OK?”_

_Neal´s fear increases when a man comes close enough to untie Peter. But there is nothing he can do and he can´t make his body responding to the panic that grips his heart. When he notices that Peter is being pulled away he lets out a distressed sound._

_“Shh… I´ve got you, I will keep you both safe. Good boy.”_

_Neal can feel that Peter is pulled harder. Once he is pulled clear of Neal, he can hear scuffling and a pained sound, Peter must have kicked someone. As quick as Peter is pulled away, he is back again and Neal lets out a sigh of relief. He can´t see what is going on, but he can feel Peter is readying himself for another kick._

_“It´s OK boy, we are not going to separate you, we want to take you indoors to a nice warm stable and take care of you. Both of you.”_

_He has heard this before and they were always hurt. But he can also hear the men leave again._

_Neal hears a gun pop, and his heart clenches, it doesn´t take long before he can feel Peter´s unsteady gait, they must have sedated him. Neal wants to run, but since he is hobbled and restrained, all het can do is cry out to Peter, as far as his voice lets him._

_The men leave the trailer, probably getting rid of Peter and return, Neal can hear them slowly approaching. They talk to him, but he doesn´t understand what they are saying, all he hears is his blood rushing through his ears. He can´t do anything when they untie his reins and pull him out of the trailer, all he can do is follow them as best as his injuries let him. Pain shoots through him every time he puts weight on his leg. Once they are outside, Neal tries a feeble attempt to escape by trying to kick the man as Peter has done. Maybe he can hit him on the old injury. It is a long shot. But the man is clever and sidesteps him. The man keeps talking and gently pulling the reins, there is no force behind it and it isn´t brute, even his voice is gentle._

_But Neal knows that is just a façade, once he has him somewhere cornered the torture and abuse will start all over again. He can´t let himself being pulled indoors again, his chances of getting away will be reduced to zero. It is now or never and he puts all his strength in a last attempt to break free._

_“It´s OK boy, settle down, we are going to see your buddy, OK? “_

_Wait, are they going to see Peter, he needs to know Peter is alright. He does his best to get his breathing under control so he can hear what the man is saying. The man guides him into what looks like a vet room. It doesn´t settle his nerves, but then he sees Peter laying on the table. He calls out to Peter and tries to get closer to him to see if he is alright._

_“It´s OK, he is just sedated. He will be fine, we are going to take care of him. But I also want to take care of you. You are hurt.”_

_They try to pull him away from Peter, but he needs to be sure Peter is OK._

_Suddenly there is a sting in his left buttock. Shit, he didn´t pay attention to the other people in the room, all his focus was on Peter. How could he have been so stupid? But it doesn´t take long before his mind starts wandering off and he looks back at the man. He wants to do something, but his legs feel like jello and he is losing his footing. But before he face plants, he is supported and he can feel himself be carried away._

_Whatever they used, it didn´t knock him out completely, or maybe he is building up a tolerance to the stuff, which worries him even more._

_“I had no idea it would be this bad, John. Let´s see what we are dealing with.”_

_Neal can feel hands pull on the buckles of his bridle. He expects pain, and it is there, but fare away. He can feel his mouth being examined and there is some discomfort when the fingers touch his mouth. He tries to look up at the man who is touching his face, but again, he is gentle and there is no real pain._

_“Shh… relax, we are going to take care of you and your buddy.”_

_They start cleaning him up, he can feel wet sponges cleaning and someone is clipping his toe nails. With the drugs slowly leaving his system, the pain, but most of all the fear is returning, he tries to move and they must notice, because something is pulled over his face and it is suddenly completely dark._

_For some reason his body responds to the dark with slowly falling asleep, despite the situation. It must be the adrenaline leaving his body. Slowly he can feel himself nod off._

* *  *

 

Peter is anxious. He expects Diana to arrive any moment. She was thoughtful enough to call from the airport that she had arrived. John had suggested to pick her up, but she had refused and said she was getting a rental.

He walks back inside and goes to Neal, who is sitting in the kitchen, drawing. Neal has drawn notebooks full, it is his way of coping and trying to get over what happened. Some of the drawings are quite disturbing, but then again, Peter was there, he saw what they did to Neal. But somehow it is more distressing seeing it through Neal´s eyes.

They both declined Peggy´s suggestion to talk to shrink. Peter knows that he should, but for some reason he is not comfortable talking to one, not right now.

The sound of tires on the pebbles of the driveway, has Peter´s attention. Neal grabs his hand and prevents him from running out. He gently pulls Peter towards him and then bumps his head into his shoulder. Peter smiles. Leave it up to Neal to be able to calm him down without saying anything. He smiles towards Neal, and they both walk up to the car.

The moment Diana sees them, she brakes and almost leaves the car before it comes to a complete stop.

“Oh my God, Peter, Neal.”

She runs towards them and takes them in a bear hug. Peter hugs her back. Neal smiles but Diana grabs him in a hug as well.

“Jezus Peter, why didn´t you contacted us? And why was Neal in hospital, I…”

“Calm down Diana, let´s get inside and I will explain. But first let us introduce you to our hosts.”

Diana studies Peter and then Neal and immediately picks up on the tension and does her best to calm down.

“OK, let´s do that.”

 

* *  *

 

_Neal and Peter are at the annual Winner´s party after the Kentucky Derby. However, this is not a party where one buys tickets for. After months of undercover work, Neal or better George Moreau III received an invitation. His plus one is his trainer Preston Walker. He made sure that their suspect knows he is in the market for a stallion and that he has the money to only go for the best. The problem is that they still don´t know who the brains behind this whole operation is. So Peter had briefed the office and Neal and Peter had prepared for the happening of the year in the equine world._

_Peter and Neal walked into the mansion, accepted the glass of champagne and walked out to the back where the party was being held. Outside the garden was decorated like a fairy tale world. Neal left Peter’s side and mingled with the other owners that were present. They even walked out to the stables where several gorgeous specimens were being shown._

_The sight of the stallions and mares was still something Neal was not accustomed to. Rationally he knew this was a perfect legal deal between ponies and owners, but he couldn´t imagine people voluntarily submit to this. Peter was better at handling the situation, having been around horses his entire childhood, made him a natural in taking care of them and handling him. Neal was happy that Peter was with him on this assignment._

_“Like what you see?” a female voice behind him says._

_He answers without turning around. “Yes, I like the stallion, he seems well trained.”_

_“He is.”_

_The woman comes to stand next to him and Neal turns towards her, taking her hand and giving it a kiss._

_“George Moreau the third, enchanté.”_

_“Margaret Kutnetsov, likewise.”_

_“You have an appropriate surname.”_

_“What do you mean?” She faints innocence._

_“Kuznetsov, it is derived from Kuznets, right? Meaning Blacksmith.”_

_“Very perceptive, mister Moreau.”_

_“Oh please, call me Jordy, everybody does.”_

_“So Jordy, I heard you are interested in a purchase?”_

_“Yes, I am in the market for a stallion, but my mare is quite feisty, so I need a blue personality.”_

_“You know what you are looking for. A blue personality shouldn´t be a problem.”_

_“Great, Preston will check out the horse, he knows my mare best.”_

_“But I understood that you are also in the market for something that needs a bit more discipline?”_

_Neal feigns not to know what she is talking about._

_“I was informed that you like to play.”_

_Neal clears his throat, making it look like he is caught in something he preferred to have kept for himself._

_“You may have heard correct.” Neal doesn´t want to seem to overeagerly. His alias is not a man who is proud of the sadistic flaws in his character._

_“Tell you what. Why don´t we join the party again and enjoy ourselves and we will talk business tomorrow?”_

_Neal extends his arm and Margaret picks in while the walk back to the party._

_* *  *_

“Yeah, that was the evening were you de-briefed us and told us you were going back the next day.” Diana states.

Peter glances over Neal and can see he is uncomfortable and tense.

“John?” Peter calls out.

John enters the living room.

“Can I help?”

Peter makes a minute nod towards Neal and John immediately picks up on Neal´s tension.

“Hey Neal, I need some help at the Stables, care to help out?”

Neal looks a bit lost when he looks up at John. He wants to, but doesn´t want Diana to get the wrong impression.

“I mean I need help at Vesta Stables, care to join me? We will be back before dinner.”

“Yeah, that would be good. Diana, do you mind if I leave you two alone and help John out?”

Diana looks a bit worried, but forces a smile on her face and nods.

“No, please do, I will see you at dinner.”

“OK, see you guys.”

When Neal has left the room, Diana turns back to Peter.

“So, tell be the truth, how are you guys doing?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Above the bit : when a horse raises his head above the level of the rider´s hands, it reduces the amount of control the rider has over the horse.
> 
> Blue personality: a horse that loves to express its nature mentally, physically and emotionally. They are extremely quick learners and need creative leadership as anything repetitive will drive them mad.


	12. Sacking out

When Neal and John arrive back, Peggy has prepared a wonderful dinner that everyone enjoys. Nobody talks about what happened or why Diana is here. They just have a pleasant conversation; Diana telling them what happened in the office. The fact that she has a new girlfriend to whom she is engaged. Jones who moved in with his girlfriend..

“Where are you staying?” John asks.

“I booked a room at the Harmony.”

“The owners are lovely, you will enjoy your stay.” Peggy smiles.

“Good. Well, it is getting late, I am going to leave you, shall we meet tomorrow?”

“Sure.”

Neal stays seated while Peter escorts Diana to her car after they said their goodbyes. When they arrive at the car, Peter stops Diana.

“Diana, who else knows you found us.”

“Just Jones and me. I wasn´t ´going to tell anyone until I was sure.”

“Not even Mozzie?”

“Peter, I…”

“What is wrong?”

“After you disappeared, Mozzie left and we never heard from him again.”

Peter nods.

“Can you please keep this to yourself, for now. We need some time to figure out what we are going to do.”

“Of course, no worries, we will take it one step at a time. See you tomorrow.”

Peter watches Diana drive away before walking back to the kitchen. Neal is not there and Peggy just nods towards the stable. When Peter walks in, he can see Neal nervously pacing the stable. He doesn´t say anything just enters Peter´s space and bumps his head against Peter´s shoulder. He pulls Neal towards him and puts his head over Neal´s shoulder and they stay like that for a while. It used their only possibility in comforting each other.

“Nobody knows. Just Jones and Diana.” Peter says quietly.

“That is good.” Neal whispers.

“Why don´t you rest, we will talk tomorrow.”

“You want to go back home, don´t you?”

Peter doesn´t know how to answer that question, he does and he doesn´t. His feelings are mixed but his concern for Neal outweighs his own desires.

“You want to go back home, don´t you?” Neal repeats softly.

Peter hugs Neal. “I want what you want. I want you to feel safe and at peace. If that is not home, that is OK for me.”

“But you want to bring these men to justice.”

“Yes, I need to. It is my duty to make sure they can´t hurt anybody else.”

“But they were arrested when we were rescued.”

“Yes, but I want to make sure.”

In the end Peter explains to Neal that he would like to go back with Diana to make sure the culprits are prosecuted and that he would like for Neal to stay with John and Peggy. Neal tells Peter that he will join him, but in the end agrees that he would be not be comfortable to go back at this point in time.

When John and Peggy go check on them before bed, they find Peter and Neal curled up together, sleeping on their warm water beds in the stable.

 

* *  *

 

“Diana, we need to talk.”

“Sure, that is why I came over. Caffrey not here?”

“No, he went with John to Vesta Stables.”

“He isn´t coping well, is he?”

Peter stares out in the field.

“No, he isn´t, he will with time, but for the moment he is doing his best.”

“Is there something we can do?”

“We discussed it and no, I don´t think so, John and Peggy take care of him and his needs and we will see.”

“What happened Peter? What did they do that broke him? That affected you both in such a way, that you didn´t even call the minute you were released?”

 

_The operation went as planned. Neal has made contact with Margaret Kutnetsov. But it turned out she was an owner, not the mastermind behind the operation. She was highly involved and she could lead them to whoever was behind it all. So Neal concocted a plan to get her to talk or introduce him into the inter crowd._

_But it didn´t go as planned. They didn´t even know what went wrong. After another day at the stables, they went to their hotel. They had dinner together and a drink in the hotel bar. And that is the last thing Peter can remember._

_He woke up in a moving horse trailer. But the sedation lingered and before he knew it he was out again._

_The next thing he remembers was waking up in a filthy stable, restrained against a wall. He searched the stable to find Neal, only to find him in a dark corner of the stable, still out. He too was restrained in a leather harness._

_“Neal? Neal! Wake up. Come on, open your eyes.”_

_But Neal is completely out and doesn´t respond at all._

 

* *  *

 

“Once you missed the call-in, we were worried. I immediately asked for a warrant to search the premises of Kutnetsov. While it was processed, we searched your hotel rooms, but there was nothing. It was like you were never there, no clues, no evidence, nothing. When the warrant came through, we searched the whole estate, but there was nothing, no trace of the both of you. Nothing. We kept looking and following up on tips, but it was like you had vanished from the face of the earth.”

Peter nods, he can hear the frustration in Diana´s voice. He can imagine, there is nothing more frustrating than having nothing to work with. Especially if you are personally involved in the case.

“The first six months we were allowed to keep looking for you but then resources needed to be spend on other cases. Jones and I kept looking in our free time. I have to admit, after the first anniversary, we really didn´t believe in bringing you home alive. It was more a retrieval mission. And then after more than two years, I get a call from a hospital that states that they have a patient brought in that has a resemblance with a BOLO. And behold, here you are. I still don´t understand why you didn´t call us immediately the moment you were rescued.”

Peter sighs and breathes deep to tell her the truth. He lifts his head and shows the fresh scar on his throat.

“What is that? You were injured?”

“They silenced us by damaging our vocal cords.” He whispers.

Diana looks in horror at Peter.

“Is that why Neal was in hospital? Because there was no record of you being there.”

“Neal has a condition where he is sort of allergic to the anesthesia and they performed his reconstructive surgery in a hospital, mine was done with an equine specialist at Vesta Stables.”

When Diana gives him a doubtful look, he quickly continues. “The surgeon really did a good job. But does that explain why we didn´t immediately call?”

Diana can only nod.

“Diana, Neal was in really bad shape, when we were rescued, PEETA wanted to put him down, because they thought he wasn´t salvageable. It is only for John and Peggy that he is the way he is right now. They nursed him back to health, they took care of us.”

“My God peter, I… I don´t know what to say.”

“That is OK. But do you understand Neal is traumatized and I don´t want him to go through everything again.”

 

_“Peter?” Neal groans. He has a smashing headache. He shouldn´t have drank so much last night, never a good idea to hit the hotel bar late at night._

_“Neal?”_

_Neal pries his eyes open at the worried tone in Peter´s voice. It is only then that he realizes that he is restrained. Now he is fully awake. What happened?_

_“Peter? What happened? Where are we?”_

_“I don´t know, but I think we pissed off the wrong people. What did you say to Kutnetsov?”_

_Neal searches his memory, but can´t come up with anything that could have given them away._

_“Can you get the bindings off?” Peter asks hopefully?_

_Neal tries, but since it is a harness, there is not really anything to pick and he can´t get rid of the tight leather bindings._

_“No, I can´t, you?”_

_“No, they are really tight and I guess designed to keep someone from escaping.”_

_They both stop talking when they hear someone walking up to them._

_“Square up.” A man calls out, when neither of them reacts, Neal, who is standing closed, gets zapped with a cattle prod. He yelps in shock._

_“SQUARE UP!”_

_“NO!” Neal shouts back._

_Three men enter. Two of them drag Neal out of the stable and the two other makes sure Peter can´t follow them._

_“NEAL! Get your hands off me.”_

_Peter can hear the struggle Neal is giving them while being drag away. But he can´t pounder long over it, because one of the men tries to push something between his teeth. To his surprise it is a horse bit. He tries to turn away, but something is pinched on his septum and tears spring is his eyes. He keeps his head still, because he can feel the pull of the nose grip. Since he doesn´t want his nose ripped off, he keeps his head still while the man fastens the bridle around his head. Next they try to lift one of his legs but because he doesn´t know what they are planning, he resists. The clamp is pulled taut and Peyer stills and lets his leg be lifted. A shoe, no a boot is being fastened and when he can put his foot down, he wobbles. Shit, they are giving him hooved boots._

_They are turning him into a pony._

“Flashback?” Diana asks.

“Yeah, sorry, I…”

“No need to apologize, boss.”

Peter laughs. “I am not your boss anymore.”

“Yeah, well… you will always be my boss. What can I do to help?”

“First of all, don´t talk in a dominant way when Neal or I are near. For the moment, it makes us slip into pony headspace.”

That makes sense to Diana, she nods.

“And we need to bring these guys down.”

“That is easier said than done, you do realize that, don´t you?”

 

* *  *

 

“Good boy, stand.”

Neal comes to a stop, he is sweating and panting.

“Square up.”

John comes closer and unscrews a bottle of water and feeds Neal slow sips and Neal drinks greedily. When the bottle is gone, he takes the reins again and gives them a gently tug; Neal follows him towards the swimming pool.

“Let´s do some exercise in the pool to cool you off.” John states and Neal slowly walks into the pool. John doesn´t need to attach the reins anymore, he just unclips them and starts the treadmill. Neal gets into a nice rhythm and sloshes around. John knows he enjoys the pool, so he lets him in a bit longer until he knows, Neal is cooled down enough.

“OK, let´s go Neal, I will give you a nice grooming.”

Neal leaves the pool and walks next to John towards the stable. He washes Neal with some nice warm water, rinsing his hair and hand drying him and then massages his body with the soft brush. Neal has his eyes closed and John can see all the tension is gone, he is completely in the moment.

“You are doing good.”

When he is done and Neal opens his eyes, John has a piece of cake in his hand which Neal quickly takes and eats. It is still something they do, even though Neal doesn´t need any more fattening up. He is back at his fighting weight, but a treat now and then, especially when he exercised well, is OK.

“Ready to come back up?”

Neal nods.

John hands Neal his regular clothing and walks out, giving Neal some privacy to come back up. He finishes up at the Stables and says good evening to Ann, before waiting for Neal by the car.

Neal walks up and looks relaxed, he really looks good.

When they are in the car, Neal looks at his feet.

“I never told you what happened in the beginning.”

“Neal, you don´t have to, I know this is difficult for you.”

“No, it´s alright, I want you to know, maybe it explains something, I don´t know. I guess I am babbling, Diana coming over, I…”

“Yeah, Neal, it will all be OK.”

Neal stares out the window when he starts talking.

“When we were first kidnapped, I was dragged from the stable, away from Peter. I fought as best as I could but they were just to strong and after a couple of kicks and lashes with a whip, I let himself being dragged away. Restrained as I was, there wasn´t much I could do anyway. I could hear Peter fighting the men that were restraining him as well, but I thought it better to preserve my energy. A lot of good I did me, but I really didn´t realize at the moment what they wanted or what they were planning.

Before I could do anything, a choke chain was attached around my neck and pulled taut. So when they started putting me in tack, I didn´t really fight them. Not even when they put the bridle on, even though it hurt. The bit sat uncomfortable in my mouth and it hurt. The moment they were fastening the boots, I knew what they were planning and I tried to fight them. At first I thought it was Margaret getting revenge, for me trying to seduce her. But later on I realized there was someone much more powerful that had his hand in our abduction. Margaret was good, but she didn´t have the resources it took to make us vanish.

The first days in tack were excruciating, everything hurt and I can´t remember how many times I face planted because I couldn´t keep my balance on the boots. But since we weren´t cooperating as they wanted, we were transported to another stable.”

“Hence your anxiety for horse trailers. You were brought to breakers.” John states.

“Breakers?”

“Yeah, there is a whole criminal part in the scene. Some owners can´t train their ponies in the behavior they want and contract breakers. Men and women who will do anything to get the pony to display the ‘wanted’ behavior. But whoever kidnapped you didn´t want your behavior changed, they wanted you broken.”

“Yeah, well, it worked. It didn´t take them long for me to behave appropriate. I guess the moment I realized we were in real trouble was the moment the branded us.”

 

 

_Neal´s choke chain is fastened to the stable wall and he is pushed against it with his back. His hand are tied to it as well, and so are his feet. A rubber bit is pushed in between his teeth. He is confused, why all of a sudden a rubber bit, normally it is some vicious metal wire bit they use. He still isn´t sure why the sudden restraining, but that changes when he sees a man entering with a hot branding iron, the tip is almost yellow, but quickly turning orange. He starts to struggle in his bindings._

_“I wouldn´t struggle, if I miss, I will do it all over again. Keep still.”_

_Neal stills, he doesn´t want the brand to be all over the place, it is bad enough he can´t prevent it but he saw the Jackass movie, he knows what happens if you move or the guy doing it doesn´t have a steady hand._

_The moment, the iron connects with his flesh, he gags, the smell of burned flesh hits his nostrils, before the pain registers. But then the pain hits him like a freight train._

_“Breath!” a voice shouts at him and a punch in the gut has him gulping in air._

_“Where is the other one? He is next.”_

_“Peter!”_

“Neal? Are you Ok?”

Neal swallows. “Yeah, yeah, really I am fine.”

“Let´s go home Neal, Peggy made one of your favorites.”

Neal gives him a small smile. “Yeah, that would be nice. Let´s go home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Desensitization, sometimes called sacking out, the process of introducing a horse to flapping objects such as blankets, teaching the horse to allow itself to be touched by an object and not to fear things that people move about a horse.


	13. Sundance Stables

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that June arrived, RL is very busy with the summer holiday approaching at high speed. Since I need to study for exams, I decided to end the story.  
> I wrote this ending, but I promise to write a timestamp, prequel or sequel or wahtever to explain what happened to Neal and Peter, but not in this story.

“Peter?”

When Neal doesn´t get an answer, he turns down the stove and checks the living room, but Peter isn´t there. He walks out towards the stables and he smiles when he sees Peter sitting at the work bench. He is making something and Neal walks up to him.

“Dinner is ready.”

Peter looks up and smiles.

“Yeah, coming.”

Neal stays where he is and keeps watching Peter work, now that he stands closer he can see Peter is making a hackamore.

“Is that for Louis?”

“Yeah, I took his size, they keep him in a wrong size bridle. I explained his owner that he would perform better with the hackamore.”

Neal nods, yeah, Louis probably would and his owners were responsible enough to come ask for advice when they noticed Louis wasn´t performing like he should.

“Can you help me with the leather? When I make it, it will be functional, when you do it, it is almost art. Louis deserves a nice looking hackamore.”

“Sure, I will do it after dinner. Ready?”

“Yeah, let´s go.”

Peter gets up, Boris at his side, washes his hands and walks with Neal towards the farmhouse. They built up quite the reputation in the scene. Neal´s craftsmanship is almost legendary. His skills make the most basic leatherwear, pieces of art. He is very good in making tack, but Neal is the artist.

Peter studies the farmhouse when they approach it.

After it turned out that Neal didn´t cope in New York, the decision was easily made. Peter sold the town house and together with some funding from Neal, they bought this farm. The grounds around it, made it comfortably private. Peter thought it was important for Neal to have some peace and quiet.

Their families and friends understood that whatever happened to them must have been traumatizing and they had whished them all good luck in their new endeavors. Mozzie visited regularly, so did June and Elizabeth, even after all their years divorced, they were still good friends. The White collar unit bi-annual BBQ was always a success.

When they just moved here, Neal needed to work of the stress, and John and Peggy helped them where they could. John even gave Peter some pointers on how to handle Neal when he is in one of his moods.

Over time, Peter had less and less need to be in tack, but for Neal it is still a necessity sometimes to get rid of all the tension and to clear his head.

Peter is now able to take care of Neal and to see his needs before they escalate to a point where they become all consuming and limit Neal in his daily life.

One day, Neal was spending time with John and Peggy. John had been asked by Ann to take care of new rescue case and John had asked if Neal wanted to come. He had reservations about joining him, but John had explained he could leave whenever he wanted. So he had joined him. The moment the rescue had been unloaded, John had been working with the horse and Neal could see the gentleness he too had experienced. The rescue case had been a neglect case and nothing like his own, but still John was fantastic and that was the moment Neal had decided he wanted to help these horses nobody cared about.

Peter had objected in the beginning, telling Neal that they were still too unstable themselves to provide stability to rescue cases, but Neal had been persistent as only he could be and Peter eventually caved in. So their first rescue had been a fact only a couple of months after they moved into the farm.

Ashley was a fragile looking filly that had been abused by her owner and PEETA had taken her away. Ann had told the officers that she would find a good temporary home at Sundance Stables. The call had come in early in the morning and they had barely time to prepare their stable. Luckily she healed quickly and wasn´t too traumatized. She had a lovely disposition and so it wasn´t difficult to find her a nice new owner. But ever since that first rescue, they had a regular influx of rescue cases. Peter and Neal even adapted their stables to it. Within the first year, they added a vet room so Peggy could work in a more professional setting when wounds needed to be taken care off.

 

Peter walks in to find Neal in the kitchen feeding Mistopheles and Boris, the two pets they got out of the local shelter. Peter had laughed when Neal dragged him over to the shelter, their whole lives seemed to circle around rescue cases.

Mistopheles was a shabby looking tabby cat, who was found severely neglected. He was weary and easily spooked, but in some strange way he had bonded with another guest of the shelter, an old blood hound who had been left aside the road.

When Neal had gotten word about the two pets who would be destroyed because the shelter was filled to capacity and these two were not likely to be adopted, he immediately called them to come and pick them up. The two pets always immediately seemed to feel at home and they always cheer Neal up. Mistopheles would only lay in Neal´s lap while Boris always enjoyed a slow walk with Peter. The hound was old and slow but well mannered. He never barked when there were horses around. So Peter took him almost everywhere he went.

Peter had to admit, they were happy and he wouldn´t want it any other way. Their relationship had evolved and while they were happy with their ‘no ties’ relationship in the past, now they were inseparable. They had survived their ordeal together and there was nobody they trusted more than each other.

So no, Peter wouldn´t change a thing. They are home.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
